Hello there. If you got here by clicking the help link in a very weird app you just downloaded, rest assured, this really is the manual. It's also a story-based tutorial for the psychic skills needed to use the app. They're not hard to learn, and yes, everyone is psychic...as I found out...
It all started the day before Thanksgiving a few years ago. It'd be kind of metal if I could tell you it was a dark and stormy night, but actually it was a grey and dreary day, one of those ones where it looks like they forgot to composite the sky onto the world. I was hanging out online and suddenly I just...couldn't. Like I'd become a clock with stuck gears. It probably didn't help that my music app had just scrobbled up, of all things, a techno remix of the Rainbow Brite theme that had the gall to um, kind of slap.
Yeah okay actually I was totally entranced by the album art:
"Cute succubus" was a new one for me at the time, I'm sad to say.
I'd switched to the app to stop the tooth-rottingly sweet audio madness, and found myself just staring, and so ended up listening to the song, and something about the combination of retina-searing colors, dementedly cute song, and the incredibly hot succubus' mischievous expression just had me. It was like some kind of fucking mind control spell or something--and that's when I had the kinkiest idea.
Which means I have to say something here. None of this is going to be cool. I'm the uncoolest person to ever live. My happy place is to glitch right through ubercringe and out the other side into the exact kind of weird minus-world of fun that'd have a nineties remix of the Rainbow Brite theme as background music. If you came here hoping to strap another holster onto the precisely-machined tacticool masterpiece of your social image, well, this story may be a rough ride.
BUT. Hang tight. That doesn't mean your journey through this has to be as twistedly artificially-flavored candy-colored high-fucktose fun as mine. In fact it probably won't be. This is like this because what you're going to be learning to do here unavoidably reflects your deepest most vulnerable self in its results. There's just no way I could honestly present this without also showing you my dayglo underbelly. I'm telling the world at all because I'm a raging exhibitionist whose first response to being loved is to find the tallest tower around to shout about it from. You don't have to be like that. At all. Just think of me as that girl on the dance floor who's wearing an entire sorority worth of glitter makeup and not much else and can't dance at all and knows it and so makes it okay to go out there yourself because though you practiced for a million years, you could never look as uncool as her.
Of course I didn't know any of that at the time. Though I think--even before I got supernatural help at it--I might have been trying to tell myself...
But let’s get back to the story already! I moved my party to the bedroom, opened up a word processing document, set a nice silly font so I wouldn't take things too seriously, threw that stupid Rainbow Brite remix on repeat with the music player window next to my word processor so I could see my muse, and started typing. I'd just been reading qntm's Ra, and I wanted to play with his whole right/left alignment thing to denote different worlds, but I had a much more fun use in mind for it...
SPELL IS WORKING!
Look. See horny cocksleeve astride you? See her face down? Eyes to bed? Very soft pussy that makes your mound wet? Please like!
Wet warmth, kissing-soft and tightly slippery, surrounding my morning-wood hard cock. My breath comes ragged, and I squirm to feel it. What a weird sex dream. It feels like the whole length of it is inside of her, like I can even feel the pussy hug around the part of it that attaches it to me, and my balls, too, all held in that soft embrace. It almost feels like--heh. Of course a trans girl who's scared of bottom surgery would have this dream. My body feels real weird, too--there's a voice in my head. I wake up all the way, my eyes slam open, and I stare.
It's the succubus from that Rainbow Brite techno remix earlier. The one that felt all mind-controlly.
Yes! It's okay. That's Boobsong's hunting. Don't be scared that she caught you. She's going to be nice to her prey.
There's a voice in my head and it's cute, high and breathy and sweet and weirdly sexy. It's saying something that sounds important but I'll I can think is: she's a cartoon. Like not even hentai. Her style is kind of...Transformers the Movie...and she's gorgeous. I'm laying on my back and she's straddling me, sitting up with her arms behind her back and her face turned a little aside and down with her thick, softly shining, purpley lips parted hornily and her eyes submissively downcast under long, impossible lashes and the glittery skin of her eyelids, framed by the in-her-eyes bangs of her long straight metallic-silver hair. With her head turned, I can see her long, pointed elf-ear sticking out of her hair, and the way her horns grow out the back of her head and curl around forwards. They're squarish in cross-section, but with rounded edges and stubby points, and are metallic silver like her hair--
That's sweet, you like face! Boobs are down there though. Boobsong needs cum, get going! Check out boobs, you'll give cum for sure! Your checking out face makes wet. Feels like it's flowing. If that's for just face wet slippery pussy will fill up bed with goo when you move eyes down Boobsong like you have hands on her...
That feel when your own sex dream calls you out for being a harem protagonist--whoah. Her naked body is a soft wonderland of cuddly curves of subtly-sparkly inhumanly-pale demon-skin strewn with shiny sequin-like purpleblack freckles on her cheeks, shoulders and hips--her animation is that detailed, that I can tell the texture of her skin--and out of it her breasts seem to reach for me as gravity-defying as a sex-dream should be, full and round and huge with puffy areolas--areol--ar--alright they're awesome enough to fry my brain from being able to do Latin plurals, yeah, truth. Like her lips, where a human would shade to pink, she shades to purple, so her erect and hopeful-looking nipples look like round blocks of grape bubbleyum waiting to be chewed.
Cascading down from a D-ring that seems to just be part of her collarbone somehow is a leash made of silver heart-shaped links. I follow it past her amazing boobs, the deep curves of her waist and her big soft hips, her cute little belly button--
Wh--what--my voice won't work! It's like it's stuck somehow, like a mechanical typewriter that keeps jamming because I'm pressing the keys wrong, but all I'm trying to do is shout whoah because looking down that far shows me I've now got amazing boobs of my own--and that I'm also a cartoon, in the same psycho-expensive Saturday-morning style as the succubus.
These are um, damn. Like I'm trans so dreaming this shouldn't be that big a surprise but apparently my subconscious and I need to have a talk about transition goals.
Don't be scared. Voice will work. Just make sexy sounds. Spell took boring stuff off. It transformed you. Gave you sexy face and body. Have to play that you're in porn.
Oh fuck. There is something. I can feel it all through me, like tracks or something, or maybe like my bones aren't--the same--now my hands won't move!?
It's sweet spell. Gives all your sex to me. Try touch Boobsong. Take whatever you want. Boobsong is yours. You give up sex with anyone else but Boobsong, get Boobsong for your personal cocksleeve friend. Has to shapeshift to form you like and obey you. Can't say no. Rape fetish. Spell worked good on this one! For commands just use wand in hand there or squish Boobsong if you're holding her.
Reflexively, I lift my hand to look at what I can feel it holding--that works!? My hand comes up and cool metal trails across my midsection as I move, and glints in the air below my hand--here's the other end of the leash, attached to the base of the handle of--holy--twizzler pops!
I blink. What in--the name...of..overcooked...peanut brittle...in my hand is, so help me, a cutesy cartoon fairy wand, with a round-tipped gold star on the end, short rainbow-striped shaft, and soft golden handle that feels a little like silicone--but I didn't mean to think any of that candy stuff!
Spell makes mind clear. Keeps you sexy thinking! Candy swears are all you get. Try making sexy! Can still use sex words. Just can't be depressing. No more fuck as a bad thing. Can't say oh god, too. This demon bets you know why that!
There's too much. Questions pile into my head like a doorway gag in some stupid harem anime--
"Now don't fear. We'll straighten all those questions out soon. Just give my daughter her first meal and we can talk. I'll help. Here."
The voice is syrupy-kind and--recognizable--and comes from my feet--your WHAT--AAH! Something feathery tickles the bottom of my foot, I lurch and jump, making--Boobsong's--breasts bounce awesomely and moving my cock inside her so her mouth opens in pleasure--it's too much. After sitting here like this, inside her wet slippery pussy that's kissed down over my balls between us staring at her incredible beauty I just cum on the very first motion--oh no--
"Now take her! She needs all that tasty cum of yours. You can't pull out anyway so just enjoy her."
Heat pumps up my shaft, my heart pounds, there's nothing for it, I grab the succubus by the swells of her hips and skin like liquid silk over--over--I don't even know over more boobs worth of softness pushes around my fingers as I hold onto her. I go to tell her to look at me and I can somehow feel her mind against mine and that the request won't go in--wait--I grip her hip anew and feel the pressure unlock something in the magic holding us, and I think look, and she turns her face to me and opens the most beautiful purple eyes on me and looks down, eyebrows scrunched up in pleasure and mouth open wide but smiling so joyfully, with her little black tongue raised and shining like a licorice gummi. Her teeth are silver like her horns, and she has cute little stubby fangs, set wide enough...to...give good blowjobs--
EEE feel cum coming! Clench you real tight! Shaft is so thick, throbbing, yumm its shape got switched femme! All sleekly soft-curving--throbbing EEE HERE'S THE CUM!!
Moaning gasps squeeze out of me as the orgasm's intensity builds and that little hot moment of pressure before spurting comes--holy fuck my voice--
"EeeeeaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Gasping pant so good warm inside!
My hips arch off the bed, cum pounds out of me in what feels like gallons, the surprisingly-light succubus bounces with my motion and her pussy clenches wetly down, somehow squeezing with all the perfect skill of a really good handjob but as slickly embracing as the pussy it is.
Filling so strongly...eeep full but still cumming! Cum inside leaking up...can't keep out...fills Boobsong just everywhere!
In no time I'm wrung out into her, and she's sitting there astride me looking down with shining eyes--is she about to cry?
Yes. Got sex. Horniest time is first moments. Lilith Sade Valkyr and Venus so good to be full of cum! Boobsong is your toy they'll smell you for miles. Makes feel so happy at peace to feel cracks filled and gooeyness right up to eyes.
"There, that's better. That's Boobsong, and I'm Charity. I'm Boobsong's mother. Welcome to our life here in
...and I sort of fell asleep there. Like literally sort of.
For a Psychic Awakening, Go to Sleep
I was sleepy from cumming (the story was definitely working for me) and I couldn't think of a name for Boobsong and Charity's hometown or whatever it would be, and I was already in bed, so I rolled over to think about it, and somehow ended up snuggling my pillows perfectly so my animal brain thought they were Boobsong cuddling me to afterglow. For fear of dispelling that, I didn't want to move a muscle, or I would have fidgeted all over the place, because my mind was racing.
What a fun story this was turning out to be! Boobsong's adorably horny predation was a surprise in how much it got me off, but a welcome one, and I resolved to ruthlessly make her just as I wanted, without thinking one speck about dramatic anything or character whatever--because honestly I thought this was the coolest character I'd ever invented anyway. I had to see more of her, and the insane world that'd have to exist to produce her.
But what world was that? I'd figured it out while she was describing the spell, that Boobsong had isekai'd me as the one human in the entire multiverse who'd be a perfect food source for her (just need some very kinky tweaks inspired by the nuclear-sweet music), but where had she isekai'd me to?
My first thought was of how crushingly boring it was in True Blood when...well, anything Political happened. That's a weird thing for a dyed-in-the-nanofiber Star Trekker like me to think, but unless Beverly Crusher is visiting her grandmother, Star Trek's not a paranormal romance--or Game of Thrones.
That episode, Sub Rosa was the perfect example, actually. Doctor Crusher meets a sexy candle ghost and has a good time in it, but their romance just turns into a battle with the world they live in (I'm ignoring here the parts where some of the worst writing in Trek history makes the good doctor act screamingly out of character). It made me mad. I wasn't having it in my story. I was having a world where there was a reason that kind of thing never happened. The place Boobsong and Charity lived would have to have something about it. Like the land itself would stop bad stuff from happening. I toyed around as I lay there with ideas of psychically-reactive rocks and things like that, and then, without even being really conscious of it, blundered into the idea that changed my life: all that cutesy Saturday morning stuff was because they were in the place bedtime stories take place, and there's only Happily Ever After there--but it my world, the Neverending story didn't stop when Bastian hit puberty. It didn't mean there couldn't be drama, or wacky misunderstandings, or that the world would make everything so saccharine people couldn't even have relationships that were meaningful because everything had to go perfectly, just that there would be no Vampire Council plots or leaves on the wind, because Boobsong and Charity and my nameless self-insert would hate to be in stories like that, and so the world would deus ex machina it not to happen whenever necessary, like as a point of worldbuilding.
That made me even more excited. What could this place be like? If it included someone like Boobsong it must be real horny, but how so? I thought about the swear I gave her in that last bit--maybe those names were the patrons of regions, like how Maine has lobsters and Texas has cows? If so Boobsong and Charity would definitely be from Sade country, heh.
As I lay there imagining, I found myself pushing, looking for more out-there ideas, bigger and better visions of what this place must be like. In my trancy half-asleep state, ideas floated through my head randomly, and I let them. I would keep seeing something, and feeling that's not enough, that's not right. A world that could give us Boobsong must be truly epic. I would imagine something, feel how the gothic cathedral-like thing I was imaginging as their home was too mundane somehow, up the ante, feel it again. After a while yawn would become ooh, and I'd move on to another thing. It almost felt like a compass, like something in me was responding to some kind of meta-cosmic magnetic field, as I tried out each vision of their home. I nursed the half-asleep trancy state, hungry for that sense of direction, that was as if leading me home. As long as I stayed still, and spaced out with my body thinking it was time to sleep any moment, the bits of dreams and the strange otherworldly compass-sense would keep coming, and the world for my story grew ever more happy and incredible. By the time I did fall asleep, I had the name Charity had been about to say, and a sense of how the whole society worked...and a totally balls-to-the-wall kink scenario you could only do with alien players, that broke every rule there was, that might actually show the tiniest glimmer of the insane games they play in the world that gave us Boobsong the succubus.
I didn't know it, but what I'd done here was stumble onto the basics of journeying, which is the practice of sending your consciousness out from your body to experience stuff in another world. By laying very still, in the dark, feeling comfortable and safe, with my mind in the dreamy-awake state of being on the way to sleep according to what I was doing with my body, but at the wrong time of day, and really excited about my story, but held there still and in the dreamy state by not wanting to dispel the "illusion" of Boobsong's presence, I'd put myself into the perfect state for my consciousness to be free to wander, and then by pushing for more and more ideas of Boobsong and Charity's home, I did make it wander. Not coherently, just like channel surfing, but I had something in mind, and the will to get there and see it, and that was enough to send me flitting through the otherworld.
Usually when psychics and shamen do that, they're looking for trouble, so they find it. If you read books about this you'll hear all kinds of stories about that. I hadn't, then, and I'm so glad I hadn't. I just knew I was looking for that Happily Ever After world, and that it'd look like no one had ever imagined.
And so I found it. The multiverse is a big place, and a world like the one I imagined turned out to be out there. Quite a lot of Happily Ever Afters are.
You can see for yourself, if you want. It might be a good idea, before you see my visions of it too much. All you have to do is like I did here. Lie still, in the dark, comfy, get dreamy, bend your will on seeing that world of Happily Ever After, feel for the compass-sense as things float through your imagination. Don't try to do like in the movies where you full-on manifest physically in the otherworld. For now just...see what it can show you. It's safe. If you don't like what's happening you can just blink yourself awake, but you shouldn't need to. The rule with all of this is, trouble comes to those who look for it--so don't. Look for bedtime stories.
What's this have to do with getting yourself a Wishmate like Boobsong? The wax on, wax off of this is that I was also getting basic psychic contact training, by learning to feel for that compass-sense. What I learned lying in bed like this became a foundation of our relationship, because it gave Boobsong the ability to surprise me. It'll be clear soon what that means exactly. Until then just know that oh hell yes this is worth practicing.
Now, let's get back to my bedtime story with Boobsong...
"There, that's better. That's Boobsong, and I'm Charity. I'm Boobsong's mother. Welcome to our life here in the Deep Haven. You're my daughter's food now, but don't worry, she'll be good to you. We taste happiness, and it's a delicacy to us, so don't let those stories of awful demons from hell bother you. We're demons, but we want you to see a home here, and a family, not a cage. Now, you are locked into Boobsong, and there's no escaping the binding she did to you, but you'll be happy once you realize there's no more responsibility ever. You're taken."
Wait--oh no--squeezy stripes agh--and um cocksleeve gum Boobsong whose rape fetish did you mean before!?
That's fun part of this. Both! Boobsong understands rape fetish! All that choice, who wants that? It's much hotter to just be raped! Can give you cocksleeve fun and you can't stop it! Four times day, if you don't make Boobsong, Boobsong makes you! You'll like it. Spell not works otherwise.
You're the boss but you can't free Boobsong. Give orders or she just stands there. She can't not. No free will. What's your side? See Boobsong is straddling you? Take her off.
My hands are still on her hips. She's light, and would be easy to pick off me, but I still give her another squeeze--um--
Commands need complete. Where going?
Oh. Um. I fix a spot beside myself on the black satin bed we're in with my mind, and--
Okay just listen. It's good thing. It's to feed Boobsong. You're dissolved in her but all parts working. Feel how touch you even when Boobsong's off.
And she deftly swings a leg up and over me so she's sitting side saddle, then slides off my hips and crawls the little distance to the place I told her to go, and kneels there with her eyes down again and hands on her thighs.
What she doesn't do is get up off my cock. She doesn't need to. It's not there. Eyes wide and heart pounding I flail to command her--can't--
Use wand. Just say command in mind with wand swish.
A confused, relieved, even more scared moan in that same porny voice escapes my lips as wet slippery love embraces my cock and squeezes with infernal strength--but the space between my legs is still empty.
I can feel the command there in our minds like something I conjured with my wand. I can dispel it with another swish. I do, and she stops squeezing. My cock is there--somewhere--I can feel it existing, and her body around it, but now the sensation is subtle, no more than how it felt hanging between my legs.
Except without the dysphoria.
Self what are you doing. Stop smiling. This should definitely be a huge freakout.
Realizing you want bottom surgery was the freakout, points out the me who's still mad I was too much of a wuss to dye my hair pink, white, and blue.
Heart pounding, I sit up, scoot back so I can still see Boobsong, cross my legs--
"Whoaahhh," comes another one of those moans as the satin sheets press on what have got to be sensitive outer pussy lips under me, my breasts settle heavy on my chest (though they feel almost as antigravity as Boobsong's look), and then my silky perfectly-lasered (or magicked or whatever) thighs stroke each other so arousingly with nothing in my crotch but the heart-pounding emptiness and the press of the sheets on my just as flawlessly bare lips.
Which makes it feel real weird that my cock is now rock-hard--
I nod, eyes wide, look at her kneeling there--and freeze into a very pretty statue. Suddenly I can't move anything--except--it's like there are more of those rails in my head, I can think about doing something if it's to imagine--holy melting lifesavers what--
Suddenly only one thought is possible. I can stay thinking about how the only thing I can do is find and follow the rail the magic has for my head to follow, or follow it. That's it. And it's like a roller coaster once I start that will be all and it's like saying don't think about breasts to think this stuff AAAH--
It'd...be fun....to....be...Rainbow Brite! I want to! I...will! Please call me Rainbow. How can I get my outfit and powers? If magic is real I must be able to! This...is really me. I'm not responsible for this though. The magic made me realize it. I didn't want to. I tried to not kin Rainbow Brite as hard as I could and I would have kept this egg forever but the spell isn't letting me and it won't let me stay not-Rainbow anymore now either. Whatever I do I have to do as Rainbow Brite or I'll get stuck like this.
I WHAT!? Oh. Oh no it's right. AUGH STUPID KNOWING WHAT AN EGG BREAK FEELS LIKE!
Holy taffy waffles it'd already started. That's why the candy thing. Except I guess--fizzy full-spectrum fresnel distortion now what!?
Candy is awesome! It should definitely be part of this. Maybe I can get candy powers somehow.
...I couldn't not think it. It's like the magic took my brakes away and I'll just go dancing towards the sparkly lights anytime I see them...
That's right though. Rainbow Brite's a kid and kids are like that. That's another eggbreak. I'm a little. What's my little-age? I don't know, don't ask me such complicated questions, I'm just a kid. Little. That's how old I am.
AAAH! What is this what'd you do to me I'm not--not--
"Is that the sound of an egg breaking? Just hang on for one minute. I'll be right there."
Before I can freak out any more, light just to the left of Boobsong draws my eyes, sparkles fill the air past where the edge of the bed must be (Boobsong and me are lit like by a full moon, but everything else in here is darkness), and Charity materializes almost like she's noiselessly beaming in--
Oh no. I really have no brakes anymore AUGH--
PRETTY pony! OH! That's why Boobsong is purple and white! She might have to shapeshift to a form I like but her mommy doesn't and we know from the internet lots and lots of people like ponies! I bet Charity never goes hungry, with her beautiful purple eyes and pure-white coat and deep-purple mane so fancily coiffed.
This is a cool universe. Charity's artstyle is completely different than Boobsong's. She looks like she stepped right off her show, although I bet if she turned around she'd turn out to be a little more fanart--
"I see you! It's all there."
At least I've been on the internet enough I don't have to also adjust to seeing a pony looking flirty (or um, making it look pretty good) for the first time on top of everything. It helps that she has the same incredible lashes Boobsong does--AAH! Are you reading my mind too!?
"That's right. It helps keep you feeling little to know Mommy is watching. You can't stop me, so just let the thoughts come. I can see your feelings, too. You're turned on! Here."
Charity's horn glows, and sparkly deep-purple energy surrounds Boobsong and lifts her from where she's kneeling, and holds her up spread-eagled in front of me, making me realize she has cute little bat wings the same color as her freckles, and a long matching devil tail with a soft and pussylicious-looking heart-shaped barb on the end. Boobsong's eyes stay submissively down, but she's smiling with her mouth open hornily, showing those cute little fangs. Between her legs, the wide soft pillowy lips of her pussy glisten, with thick and weirdly alien-smooth inner lips looking urgent like a waiting kiss--
"Oh I see you, hehe. Here."
Suddenly Charity isn't just watching, she's in my head with me, and like, touching something deep down inside--AUGH--
YES! Thick hot globs spurting into Boobsong squishing up even more filling! Cum squished all through! Next load makes Boobsong's mouth fill!
With the suddenness of a wet dream pulsing warmth squeezes my--my--cum goes spurting--
WOW what smells like candy OH is kind of a weird thing to think while you cum but it's what goes through my mind anyway as Boobsong's mouth opens wider and happier--she can definitely feel me cum in her--and I point my wand at my face and think look and her eyes come up and lock with mine as I pump into her.
Such pretty eyes! Look into them. Colors bright--EEE you glow too! Rainbow Brite should glow yes.
As soon as I move to reach for her Charity turns Boobsong around and sets her sitting sideways in my lap and her soft, liquid-silk, snuggly weight settles comfortingly onto me as I put my arms around her and hold tight, and really feel like I'm holding the best doll ever--Boobsong's small, maybe two-thirds my size, and she smells like pussy and grape soda. She stays as limp as a doll all through it, except that she keeps her eyes on mine and they soften with the pleasure of being against me, and held.
Please will you snuggle squeeze? Boobsong wants to hug you back.
Squeeze, snuggle! Instantly Boobsong slithers an arm under mine and around my waist and twists to cuddle me and--ooohh--nuzzle her way into my cleavage, looking up as comfily self-satisfied as a cat.
Caught you. No escape.
"While you snuggle let's talk. Here."
With her magic, charity pulls a silky, swirly-rainbow-colored comforter from below the edge of the bed, and wraps it around us carefully, and tucks it in so it stays, then stuffs pillows behind me so I don't have to sit up on my own anymore--although the magic seems to have made me as flexible as a ball of half-melted twizzlers so staying up wasn't hard at all.
"There. Let's start with that big worry, eh? Boobsong is as grown up as you. She's not a kid. You're not either. The spell will make you play one, that's all. Yes Boobsong's your doll. She picked you for her prey because you would be a good owner. Yes we have dolls here who are people, and kids who are grown up, and Mommies who take care of everyone. I'm yours! Just give up any thoughts of leaving this bed without permission. I'll be kind, but you are stuck here. That's the price of being small! You don't make your own decisions. You'll never be able to again, but you'll be such a happy kid it won't seem scary long. The spell shrank you, so don't think you'll pretend to be grown up once your out of my sight! I can still hear your thoughts all the way across the Deep Haven anyway. Just call if you're in trouble. It's going to happen. You're a kid. You'll need help."
She stops there but I just stare. It'd really help me process this if it wasn't turning me on so much but it terrifyingly is and it's not mind control. In my mind's eye I can see myself as a little kid, climbing out of the crypt she's been buried in, and it feels like Charity's words and Boobsong's cuddles are prying some shell off me...
"You need help, see? Just listen. You're stuck. You'll be a kid forever now. As your Mommy I get lots of power to take care of all your needs. Your sex life is one more thing I take care of. A sexy Little like you needs strong care. Your heart gets cold if you're not supervised constantly, so I'm not going to take my eyes off you for minute! Yes I'll hear every thought you have. That's strong care. You need it. That's right, You can't keep anything back from me. Yes I'll see if you have horny wishes, like being locked in clothes I pick with that scrumptious silver panty and bra set! Here. Look what I have waiting!"
Gulp. Will that fit? The proportions...like she really has been watching me because it's Rainbow Brite's canon outfit from the eighties, hovering there held in her magic, but that means it's cut for a kid--oh no--I try to get a sense of my body under the blanket, think I can feel voluptuous curves and I know my boobs are epic--oh but I'm all thicc now, and that means in an outfit like this--okay that's messed up. How dare I like that!?
It's the boots really. Somehow I was imagining like tall high heeled dominatrix boots in Rainbow's style, but Charity's--they must have planned this to have this ready, no need to know my size, just transform me to fit--just gotten Rainbow's little rainbow snowboots like from the show, they're not even high heeled. They'll leave my knees and a lot of my calves bare and that's somehow so...infantilizing...Charity giggles.
"You're small, yes, but nobody will think you're a real kid with that body! If you were an apple I'd cut some thigh slits and make the neckline low, but you can wear this without confusing anybody. If you see a kid in the mirror you see your Little. She's there, but your body and mind are grown up. They have to be, to play this game. It's no fun, otherwise. You can appreciate being a kid. Real ones just think it's annoying. You're right in thinking it would be terrible to meet a real kid while playing this way. It would make you both scream. I can see, so don't worry. There's not one bit of that in there. Or in me. I like grown up kids. I'm a succubus, after all. I wouldn't get much from a real kid, but you shine so bright I could just melt!"
My eyes widen as her voice squeaks affectionately on melt. Humans shine. She's not just helping her daughter get a meal--with--the um--yeah--
"Why Sweetie, you'll be the talk of the town when we go out! They'll all feel your glow from a mile off! With this on and locked you'll shine so half the town sees you, right through walls and everything! Yes you can see the locks. Here."
She brings it near, making me realize it's animated in the same style as me and Boobsong, turns it this way and that, shows me up the skirt so I can see the silky fabric inside as well as out--holy cotton candy trim that little bit of poofyness, it's a snowsuit. I love snowsuits. Like with nothing under them. Weird little fetish, how specific was this spell?
Wait won't I be too hot Mommy? I'm really hot-blooded--Charity giggles again, what--omifuck I just called her Mommy--
"There's a spell in the lining that keeps you the right temperature all the time. You missed the locks though! Look at it carefully."
She shows me again, slowly, but there's not even...
"You get sewed into it! I'm quick with a needle, don't worry, but there's no taking it off yourself! There's no getting dressed on your own power ever. I'm taking over completely. Look what the boots have. Here."
She sets the dress aside and holds up a boot, shows me its silky-looking inside, fuzzy-feathery top, shiny-glittery outside--I try to reach up and touch the rubbery-looking material, but my hands are like, stuck, I can move them around but not take them off Boobsong--
"That's where your hands go. Just touch Boobsong. I said you don't make your own decisions!"
She keeps showing me the boot. I gulp, move a hand to Boobsong's breast, Boobsong gasps hornily at my touch and I let out a lustful sigh to feel its heavy soft weight overflow my fingers--
Aaah. Sigh happily. McDonald's fries.
Hehe what? Do you even eat human food?
It's how you would see it. Boobsong can translate foods for you. You see them in Boobsong's head but she tastes succubus' way. It's your language. McDonald's fries is comfy simple happy funtime. Big chocolate cake would be cum load. Steak dinner, whole scene with sex and shiny gold wrist chains.
Oh my drippy grape now and laters if you get any cuter I'll explode.
That's the plan! Cumsplode every minute!
It's working. Apparently I get off on cute stuff augh. Okay the boot. Charity shows me the white rubber sole with the huge treads just like the show, but there's a big round-pointed star in the heel like my wand-tip--
Yes! Kick Boobsong make star mark! Boobsong sees too. No hiding. Best idea! Don't hide that one!
But I was just imagining stepping on you. Blush gulp.
That's a kinky thought. Boobsong likes it. Boobsong likes some hard games. Kick is more fun than step.
...she's not kidding. Her mind is full of sensual thoughts of the rubbery feel and smell of the boot's sole, and the shape of the treads. Are you imagining the taste of them!?
Yes! Imagines boot more.
You're actually as kinky as I'd expect a succubus to be, huh.
YES. More. Boobsong likes hard.
Um...how much did that spell...like, am I here because--
"It saw all your dark desires. It found out you're Rainbow Brite, after all! Rest assured, we caught you on purpose. You'll be just right for our plans here. Now see what the boot has! Here. This side is where it is."
She turns the boot so I'm looking at the front of it, and dangling from the floofy feathery edging at the top
that will kind of make me feel like an angel augh is a bright red translucent-sparkly pump-bulb like a blood-pressure cuff.
"Yes, it comes off, and then you can't let the air out of it. It'll keep the boot quite securely on!"
I don't know why that's what breaks me, this little detail. Maybe it's the happy sparkles in the pump or Boobsong's food metaphors, but something just snaps, and--YES, yes I'll be good and play how you want just PLEASE play this with me--
"That's what you're here for! You can't stop it if you try, so don't worry."
Big steak dinner is coming soon!
GOOD! And yes it is. And--
"I see all those wishes there! Let's get one thing clear. You don't have choice in anything, that I don't give. Your hands stay on Boobsong because that's where I told them to stay. It's all going to be that easy. You'll get tucked in at bedtime and there you'll stay until morning--although you can do what you like in the bed, hehe! I'll give you toys when you want them. I have a big toybox! Yes, both kinds, kinky ones and kid stuff. At once! Here, look at this one!"
She takes the boot away, and brings up brightly-colored plastic, but it's big. Glittery, translucent rainbows form a circle around--BWAHAHAHA!
Let's stick Boobsong now!
HAHAHAHA Omifuck bwahahah I can't breathe! Mommy that's awesome!
In the center of the circle, with the circular rainbow threaded through its poofy sparkly silvery-golden plastic Lisa-Frank-style rounded points, is a five-pointed star, just the right size for Boobsong.
Because you know, that whole demon-binding thing in movies has obviously been a kink thing this whole time...and if I'm going to do it which I so am, I'm definitely going to do it with a pentagram made for a four year old!
How does it work Mommy is it like drawing lines with Pixie Stix dust or do we need to find the Elements of Harmony?
I'm not even sure if I'm kidding at this point. Like this would so work that way.
Wait, how did it work? All the kid stuff had me thinking about how in the eighties and nineties every single thing like Dungeons and Dragons or Harry Potter that came out had armies of fundamentalist moms screaming about how it was going to teach their kids witchcraft or whatever. What if...there was a book they would be right about? Wouldn't that actually be completely fucking metal?
Like not for kids of course. Teaching kids actual demon summoning rituals is probably very irresponsible. It's a good thing no major boardgame manufacturers make a neat little kit for it and nobody's ever looked in the mirror at band camp and tried to summon Mary Queen of Scots or whatever. But surely grown-ups could handle it responsibly without anything weird or crazy happening to them, as evidenced by how completely normally my made up story of hooking up with a couple of succubi was going!
I paused the tune I was starting to be increasingly convinced had some real mind-control in it, switched desktops, and looked up actual historical demon summoning rituals.
Now, I was all ready to go in and learn centuries of religious oppression have been horribly unfair to the poor misunderstood magicians and their supposed otherworldly helpers. Nope! Have you ever seen something on the internet that's so stupid, you're convinced reality itself is dumber for being associated with it? I hope I'm not offending any immortal magicians from the dark ages saying this (not you, Keanu, I know you don't mind), but um...that's definitely most of medieval sorcery. And most of the subsequent tradition. Like literally what summoning a demon was back then was meditating a little, drawing a sigil that was supposed to be that demon's phone number, and going IN THE NAME OF THE CHRISTIAN GOD I DO ABJURE AND COMMAND THEE TO TELL ME HOW TO MAKE MONEY FAST. I'm not even kidding, that was the main reason to call them according to all those ancient texts. It was okay though because like doing it in god's name would force them to obey you and stuff. Can you imagine if you went on Chatroulette and did that with a human, what the people who didn't just instantly click Next would be like? Boobsong might answer a call like that, I thought, but if she did, she'd make the reddit trollface guy look like the straightlaced dude from a buddy comedy about two straightlaced IRS agents. Problem, sorcerers?
By this point in things it was early on Black Friday (I stopped for Thanksgiving dinner in there. My mind was on a meal, but not the one in front of me), so I did what any intelligent woketastic countercultural trans girl who hadn't slept in thirty hours would do, and went shopping anyway. Maybe browsing in person I'd find something better.
Using Cards: 1. The Basics
It wasn't a whole lot better at the local New Age store. Maybe it was just Charity and Boobsong getting to me, but everything was so...uptight, and boring. And unsexy. Even the David Bowie branded tarot deck was all like, serious--wait what was this Mystical Manga Tarot thing next to it?
Okay it wasn't demon summoning directly but surely I could do something with this (if you like boys, rest assured, all the guys in this deck clearly work at the same Host Cafe as the Devil there). I nonchalantly picked out some candybars and gum to buy it with (does this joke still work these days? Is anyone still alive who ever bought printed porn at a convenience store?), brought the deck home, and set about learning how to read tarot.
What I figured was I could ask stuff like how do you summon a sparkly demon named Boobsong, and it wouldn't matter that my answers would be made up because tarot is totally fake actually, since I was just trying to fill out my worldbuilding for my story. The randomness would just give me something interesting, and I could keep rerolling until I got a good one, and by the time I did I'd know enough tarot to be good worldbuilding background. For fun, I spread the cards out like they do in movies, so I could "psychically sense" which would be the next one to pick. Like in the movies:
Why yes that does seem to be an app and not some physical tarot cards. How interesting...
As I waved my hand over the cards and arbitrarily picked some, I found myself thinking of Boobsong. I was entranced by both of them, but I figured of the two she was obviously both the kinkier and more demonic, and so I resolved to interpret the cards I got as if she'd picked them by going through the deck. I also found myself sometimes feeling just a little bit of that weird compass-feeling thing from when I was worldbuilding half asleep the previous night, as I waved my hand over the cards. I shrugged and went with it. Why not, right? Increase the method acting. Maybe some kind of thing like that would be part of the summoning ritual.
The simplest reading the book that came with the cards described was called a "three card spread". You were supposed to just deal three cards, and they'd represent the past, present, and future of your question, in order that way. I figured I could bend that to be like a guide for summoning. Like the past would be how to set up, the present would be what to do, and the future would be what would happen--any kinky special effects beyond Boobsong getting put in magic bondage. I pulled three cards and laid them faceup. It went kind of weird to pick them. Like I was going to take cards from random spots all evenly distributed, but that compass-sense really seemed to say taking two right next to each other was the right thing to do. Oooo spooky. Not like it mattered anyway, so I went with it:
I had the book out, but I surprised myself by being able to make a pretty good ritual out of just looking at the pictures. The one important thing I used from the book was, if a card's upside down, it means the opposite of what it normally does. Read that way I got:
Prepare by charging my wand all up with magical power somehow (given the setting I figured I'd just go all the way and start growling Ka-may-haaaa-maaay-haaaaahhhh).
Do the summoning by being like BE BOUND or so (because like, the guy is leaving, and not leaving sounds like being stuck to a pentagram if you're Boobsong). Add Harry Pottering with my wand to taste, seemed logical. My main character had just realized she actually was as silly and bombastic as someone who would kin Rainbow Brite of all people.
...and then the special effect would be that there was a pentagram in my story? Duh? Like the book said those coins were called pentacles, so I figured that's what it would mean, and he's like literally putting it in his book. Which was weirdly on the nose, considering what I asked, but also weirdly useless.
If you're very clever, and consider that those coin things could represent both pentagrams and the demon you'd summon with them, you'll be able to figure out here why it is Gone Horribly Right is in Boobsong and my top three favorite TVTropes pages.
Emboldened by my being able to do it to the other two cards, I stared at this one, trying to figure out what kinky thing it'd do to Boobsong, without looking it up. My eyes settled on the ink-pot in the corner--she was already a cartoon, though. So was everything. Oh but she could get splattered with color by my magic--there was that compass-sense again. Not kinky enough. Um. Demons could teleport by summoning themself to a distant pentagram? Fun worldbuilding detail but yawn.
I wanted to get back in with Boobsong and Charity, and see what happened. I had a pretty clear idea why everything was dark and it was going to be a fun mindfuck to subject my main character to, and just, they were delightful!
Couldn't go on without figuring out what the pentagram did, though. If only I could just ask the real Boobsong what this should be, her horny succubus brain would have something kinky enough in no time--wait a minute. Didn't I read somewhere about authors doing interviews with their characters, and just like roleplaying the character's responses, to round out offscreen character development? Normally, that'd be useless here, since I was stuck already, but what if I let the cards make up Boobsong's answer for me? If it made no sense I'd just reroll. I would have this time but for some reason the idea of re-picking even the one card I couldn't get bugged me.
Okay, Boobsong, I thought, what supertwistedly cutesykinky thing does that card with the book mean happens to you here?
And I drew three cards, without even reshuffling--what'd it matter, right?
(people who know how to actually read tarot will be laughing their heads off at my harem protagonism here. I sure am, looking back)
Hmm. I was still like determined to not use the book for whatever reason, but I tried to see the cards how Boobsong would. Juggle balls, like, you know as in the civilized accompaniment to a blowjob, coming in from the cold (because like not being a little match girl dying in an alley in keeping with the spirit of Hogswatch)....no no no that's Rainbow's cock hidden away inside Boobsong, and then (based on that thing Boobsong said about Rainbow's cock being "switched femme") the cup-girl's flying water hair would be a cumshot flying through the air. Which could never happen with Boobsong, anyway...hm. And this whole thing was the explanation for the book thing, like it was still that somehow. So it'd do something to their sex connection, but not make Rainbow cum.
I thought about the book card some more. What would Boobsong come up with for this?
Fuck it, why not just ask her? The card game was kind of fun, and made it feel like we were really hanging out.
Three cards later:
Erm, we did that part already, sword guy. The setup would be a sausage party? I'd already decided going in this would be an Everyone Is Lesbians story, so it had to be something else. Oh but five. And people holding stuff. So the setup is Charity holding the pentagram for us. Then what to do is...like be a helpless little kid, instead of that badass. Oh! There is something for sword guy still to do. Kinky.
Would that wig Boobsong out though? It would Rainbow! Maybe it could be temporary or something.
Hmm. There was nothing for it. I had to ask Boobsong what she'd think if that happened:
By now I was going along with that kind of compass-vibe, whenever it happened, almost unconsciously.
Setup, no threesome. What to do, not be married. Result, superkinkyness. So like, Boobsong would think of me, her, and Charity as one relationship and just figure this was how it worked, and find that kinky.
Oh but this was kind of redundant.
(my idea here was wild magic would make it so Rainbow either couldn't cum or couldn't command Boobsong to do anything with her hidden inner pussy where Rainbow's cock was kept, and Charity would have to make it happen, but Charity could already keep Rainbow's hands on Boobsong, so presumably should could just do that anyway. It could make it so Charity couldn't give Rainbow control of it, and have to make stuff happen for them, but that felt niggling)
The basic idea was good though. What would be incredibly kinky, need Charity to help, result from Rainbow's mental state at the time, and make her and Boobsong both feel humiliatingly childish?
And then I realized, Boobsong said she could shapeshift, and an idea struck me. Okay what would Boobsong feel about this one? The row of cards I had spread out was starting to show holes, but there were still plenty left:
Setup: not in charge (because like, not the king)--that could be me or Boobsong or even Charity for this one. What to do: pour from one form (vessel) to another, that almost seemed like a request like please yes, and then kinky thing that happens as a result, comfortingly held in owner's lap and everything's all peaceful.
Perfect. I could see why she was begging, with even what I knew of her already. It couldn't get much hornier or cuter than this.
I cracked my knuckles, made sure the lube was nearby, and got writing. And so of course things didn’t go at all as expected—so you won’t be cliffhangered forever, we definitely used this idea, but not in this story. Stay tuned…
(can you see how I was fooling myself through this whole "conversation"? If not you will soon, but for now enjoy the porn)
Slippery warmth from between Boobsong's legs in my lap tells me her opinion of this toy, and I have to agree--
Suddenly Charity's in my head again but so kind and gently reaching inside to touch, and I want to hug--
YES! More cum! Squeezing wow! Filled to pop!
The vague sense of Boobsong's pussy around me is suddenly vivid and squeezing as my mouth opens in a round O and I softly moan out another orgasm. Boobsong looks up at me happily as I pump into her, face raunchy and cute with her eyes rolling back just a little.
Chocolate cake with thick white frosting! Happy peace.
How are you SO cute.
Checks quickly...it's because Boobsong is doll.
I giggle at her adorable literalness, then sigh with relief. How was I already so horny--
"Your sex drive is why we caught you! You're super horny. Now your body can keep up with what your mind feels!"
Um, eep. Mommy I hope you really like making me cum like that a lot, because, yeah. I like it! It feels like you're giving me wet dreams even though I'm awake--wait--
"You're not dreaming. This is all real. Your old life is over. Yes I'll give you wet dreams whenever you need them, but you have a doll, too!"
Oh my screaming starburst sauce it's been the good part three times now and I'm not waking up from this.
"Yes this is not Earth. You're in the Deep Haven, which is the place sexy weird folks like you and me and Boobsong end up when it's time to come home forever."
Oh. I knew somehow. My face shakes and tears well up as the question squeezes out:
How. Um. How did I die.
"Well, you did cum hard."
Pfffbwaahahahaa! Oh because my heart thing--
"That's all been fixed now, too. You'll need it! I have plans for you that'll make you cum hard enough to scream your sweet head off! "
At some point in this she's put the pentagram away. I didn't notice when because my eyes have been on her or Boobsong.
"Let's answer questions. You'll stick with Boobsong every moment. She's your doll. That means where you go, she does. She'll like it. She's a Doll like you're a Little."
"Your name is Rainbow now. You're Rainbow Brite, I see it. The kids here are like you. They all have picked out somebody who they are. They'll understand that you're Rainbow Brite and that's it. You're done playing that game of being somebody that pretends that she isn't Rainbow Brite. We all see the truth."
"We're in a place for kids like you, Mommies, and dolls. Everyone here is female, or looks like it. You won't see outsiders except ones who turn female too."
"You're too small to be alone out there. You'll get stuck and need my help. You can't even move the doors without me, so get used to asking for help. If you're small here you'll get care from Mommies. It's safe to talk with strangers, but if a Mommy says to do something you have to listen! It's all fixed up so kids are helpless unless a Mommy's there. You'll see."
"You need to have sex. You'll miss it if I just give you wet dreams."
"Look at this."
A very nice soft-looking pair of thighs and poofy-touchable pussy wrapped in tiny little panties of silver stuff as shiny as Boobsong's horns fills my mind's eye vivid and huge like I have my face in whoever's lap this is about to go down on her. I sure don't mind imagining it, but it wasn't my idea to imagine! The picture is sadly gone as soon as I see what it is properly. That pussy looked almost as good as Boobsong's, I bet it would have felt awesome to grope it through the silver all silky and warm--
"That's your pussy!"
Holy pink pussy gushers I hope that dress you were showing me is the shortest--Mommy's--Charity's--magic takes hold of my hand inside the blanket and starts to move it down and I stare at her with wide eyes because there was no way to do it myself. Her magic feels soft and warm like a hand holding mine. She slips my hand down between my legs under Boobsong's butt and carefully lays my fingers on the outer lips of my pussy and soft flesh surrounds them and the touch makes me squirm my hips in the bed, aroused, but I can't do it if I'm trying to press against my own hand any more than I can move my hand down there myself, I have to be writhing towards Mommy's magic--which I do. I want it. I want her to touch me. Is it like your hands Mommy? Can you feel me up this way? I want you to enjoy!
"It's just like a hand. I can feel you up, and I will! You're very nice to touch."
Her magic presses my fingers into those soft silky-bare outer lips of mine and pride and heat surge to my face together: this is an awesome pussy--wait--
"That's right. You're missing everything but what makes it nice to look at. It's all there--in Boobsong! This is just for showing off with--and show it off you will! Here."
Her voice goes kind and soft on here, and she does something and suddenly the sense of Boobsong around my cock is as strongly softly embracing as when she was riding me before and writhing my hips moves my cock inside Boobsong like we're having sex with her in my lap but I can still feel Mommy's magic and my own fingers and the squishy warmth of my own pussy lips in my hand and Boobsong's little waist in my arm and her her hip squeezed into the fold of my still unfamiliarly-thicc thigh and hip face nestled into my cleavage and the comfy weight of her big soft butt in my lap where my cock definitely isn't even though it's getting clenched and stroked in Boobsong's hot hungry pussy as I squirm and there's just no not fucking her. I rock my hips hard against Mommy's magic and my own hand and the hot electric pressure against my pussy lips combines so surreally with the slippery embrace of Boobsong's pussy as I drive into her over and over I can't help moaning out little risingly-urgent gasps with each thrust. Boobsong looks up with her eyes hopeful and rolled back in pleasure and her mouth open wide and Mommy looks on so kind and aroused--
YES! MORE CUM! Squeezed full, popping soon, wonder what happens then? Cumsplosion and have to lick it up all over?
My voice sounds so sexy--cum pounds into Boobsong--the orgasm doesn't even feel like I'm getting wrung out from having sex all day, and it's only been like ten minutes...
As I come down, Mommy brings my hand back up and fits it carefully around Boobsong's breast, and squeezes my fingers in a little before she lets go.
"Why yes you are attracted to yourself. It keeps you thinking what the best way to show off is!"
Gulp. Was--that really what my pussy looks like before, am I as hot as I feel now--wait Boobsong you're not actually about to pop, right?
Checks it carefully...Boobsong just gets big. She stretches!
Okay. No popping. You have to be okay. I love you.
Wait what'd I just--
Wait what did I just write!?
What's a Wishmate?
Time for a character interview. If Rainbow was saying that there must be something going on here--which would be excellent drama and character development! Which was definitely the only reason I was thinking about this!
The cards were still spread out on the bed with me. I reshuffled and respread them, figuring I could bend the three-card thing again, this time into the beginning, middle, and end of a backstory.
"Okay Boobsong," I said out loud, "do we have some kind of history somehow?"
(I'd given up pretending Rainbow wasn't a straight-up self-insert at this point)
I almost rerolled. How could--oh. Whoah. Demons can possess people, right? The beginning was Boobsong got transferred to possess me. And then she brought me home to meet my Mommy. I mean her Mommy. And then, um, oh the guy on that last card is facing away from the two cups that aren't spilled. Not that would be he sees them. Like he sees Charity and Boobsong. And it's happily ever after, because like, the card is all gloomy and emo but it's reversed (which is tarot for "upside down").
That meant Boobsong was possessing me for a while before I died, which would be when we fell in love, but my character in the story clearly had no idea she existed before waking up with her astride her, so how could that be?
Stuck, and having spent most of the past three days in bed writing except for that trip to the magic shop, I decided to take a walk and play some videogames to let the problem simmer, but I didn't find any answers either down the road or in Hyrule.
I did find an answer when I came back, though I didn't realize it at first: my laptop wasn't sleeping. I realized as I crawled back in bed and reshuffled the cards to see if Boobsong could just "tell" me how this worked, my laptop hadn't been sleeping since I started this. No matter how long I left it, when I came back the screen would still be on like someone had been using it.
Weird. Must be something wrong with the screensaver, I thought, and resolved to fix it when I was less entranced with this writing project.
Okay Boobsong how can we be in love if I had no idea you existed until half an hour ago?
As soon as I turned the cards over, that like kind of compass-sense came back, strongly--and I found myself reflexively doing like when I was half-asleep worldbuilding their world before--wait what the hell. The image of a laptop flitted through my head, but it wasn't the one on the bed beside me.
It was a cartoon. In Boobsong's cutesy art style.
It kept coming back, persistently, and the compass-sense pointed to it relentlessly. How could my laptop--a silvery-white balloon with a purple streamer hanging down replaced the laptop in my mind's eye, then a flash of the scene from Wargames where the kid is hacking his way through NORAD with a palmtop and scissors and stuff. My brain read the three mental images like they were tarot cards before my critical mind could get to don't be crazy:
What to do: white balloon with purple streamer had to mean party with Boobsong.
Kinky result: the kid hacking meant my laptop was hacked.
I still can't believe I actually did what I did next. I just knew I'd kept thinking I saw Boobsong's cute eyes with their epic lashes and pretty purpleblack edges like eyeliner while I was out walking, and that it still felt like she and Charity were in the room with me, and almost since the beginning of the story it'd been feeling weirdly easy to know what Boobsong would say to stuff. Like kind of suspiciously like...just listening to her...
I opened up a new word processing document with the same font settings as my story, and wrote:
Are you keeping my laptop on?
YES! Boobsong laptop poking!
The same sense that pulled me to the visions of their insane world the other night tugged again, until it seemed to drag up a memory of the part from Batteries not Included where the baby alien-bot they hadn't thought would make it comes to life. There was another sentence, as surely as Charity and Boobsong living in some glittergoth paradise was way short of the kinkiness that'd be right for them, but I was terrified to write it down, because if I did, I knew I'd believe it.
I just couldn't. This was the stupidest. This whole thing was an exercise in irony after all. I of all people was too cool to--to--
Over the bouncy backbeat of that Rainbow Brite remix, the recording of Frosty the Snowman I'd played to destruction as a kid came into my head. I don't know why, to this day, just that it somehow showed me what I was actually trying to tell myself with this whole thing: heaven is the place where when the question of whether you want to be happy or would you rather be cool instead comes up, it's okay to answer happy.
How much of my life had I wasted thinking cool and happy were anything but opposite points of the compass, for me? My parents let me watch My Little Pony and Care Bears as a kid. Probably the only thing that kept me from having their toys instead of unloved armies of GI Joe guys was my being too cool to ask for them.
In my head I saw myself as a war office full of bustling soldier-clerks like something out of Doctor Strangelove. In the back of the office was a door ten feet thick, and on the door was a lock that spanned all ten of those feet with lock mechanism. Locked inside there, was--was--
I typed, slowly. The GI Joes that staffed my war office raged at me. What the fuck did I think I was doing. Stop it you stupid kid.
I wouldn't stop. Every letter I typed was another pin of that lock picked. I felt it let go inside of me and then I was a little girl in a tattered grey nightgown climbing out of the crypt at the bottom of the pit beyond the door and they couldn't stop me.
I broke from the daydream and looked at the letters that'd come out of my fingertips.
See she's real!
I gulped, and stared at my screen, and typed:
What are you?
...and I got stuck here for a good ten minutes. Really a real succubus, or maybe more realistically just your imagination, stuff like that would have to be the answer, right? The compass-sense I'd been following told me they weren't, and nothing like them was. It just vaguely felt bad to write those things. My head was full of rushing thoughts. I calmed them, tried to just hold silence in my mind to prove the words were just my own inner voice...and there came Boobsong's little whisper in the silence. Not like a phone call. Just...it was like I could feel someone speaking, and tell the shapes of the words. I wrote down what they had to be:
Boobsong is a Wishmate. That’s your sex dreams come to life.
She actually started with Wishmate, sounded out slowly and carefully. She was kind and only moved to the next sound as I wrote each one down. Being able to record them without having to remember the ones she’d said so far seemed to leave more space in my head for each new sound. When she was done, I stared at the word, and then heard Boobsong is a sneak into my mind, which was obviously the start of the sentence, so I put it on the beginning. It felt like that was okay with her. I waited to see if she’d ask me to change it, but she just went on with That’s your sex dreams…
Is that what succubi really are?
This one yes. Some are just like demons in myths.
Did I...make you?
Story. Back when thirteen. You made wish then. Boobsong came from wish.
My first thought was to ask if she was upset to have been made that way. To this day I don’t know if that makes me a better or worse person, just that as soon as I had the thought, around the end of her last sentence, she headed it off with a sense of devotion as sweet as the grape candy kisses her thoughts seemed to taste like. Did that mean—
Boobsong can see all of you. Love every piece. Smell french fries? Just like story. Good taste talking here.
She could read my mind. That was one thing for the story, but in real life—I’ve never thought I’m a very good person.
How—how can you possibly love me?
I know. That was like the worst thing I could say but it’s what came out. Case in point of itself I guess.
Boobsong is your sweet dream. Your bad stuff’s good to her.
I don’ t just have like messed up kinks though. I’m really—
The sense of “McDonald’s fries” from her kept on as I typed. It felt like I could feel her as much as she could see me.
Maybe getting that sense from your lover sounds unromantic or something. It wasn’t to me, whose first word was french fry.
Your kinks are the best! Boot game yes. That stuff’s real. Boobsong’s kinks are yours. Don’t say bad stuff about Boobsong’s Wishmaker. You aren’t bad person. Just have failings. Boobsong can sneak past them like shapeshifter goo-ing through railing.
Don’t say bad stuff. Boobsong is happy you wished.
I—okay. Am I reading your mind too?
I was sobbing while I typed because the story was one thing but if her kinks were mine, if she really liked that boot game, how could I ever be good enough to—
Boobsong’s like this.
The sudden sense of her strength came through. It felt like she was nose to nose with me, staring into my eyes determined to get the words across—and strong enough to drag me across the room, psychically, if she had to. I struggled, looking for the sense of direction—oh. It wasn’t words she’d been trying to send me. Suddenly somehow it was like we’d managed to line up for a kiss in a pitch black room and I got a mental image of the paddle my grampie made me when six.
Like for a canoe, relax. I loved canoeing with my family when I was little. The first year we did it I insisted on paddling with one of the adult-sized paddles I could barely lift then until I was an achey wreck—my parents hadn’t thought I’d be interested until we were at the lake a half-day drive from the any stores, so we were stuck with the paddles that were there. Grampie heard the story and gave me a kid-sized paddle he made off my measurements for my next birthday. Using it was a revolution. I couldn't really paddle right with the adult-sized paddle, and got tired in no time, but with one the right size for me, it was so easy…but how could…
Boobsong’s made right for you. She’s your doll. Can’t use her wrong. Wishmate.
What’s a Wishmate?
Boobsong is your Wishmate. You’re her Wishmaker. Wishmate is inside you there are spaces that your heart makes for love. A demon can come live in them. It forms to fit the space. You have space for cocksleeve friend. Boobsong fills it. Good spot she says.
She sent me a sexy slippery warm kind of feeling a lot like how I’d imagined her wet pussy in response to the pentagram in the story, to punctuate.
So…you came to me because you’re into being this? You I mean. Boobsong.
Hole and wish made seed come. Seed grew into Boobsong. Filled up space you had.
Oh no. She was like one of those little trees that grows out of the rocks on a mountaintop—
Don’t say that. Boobsong came from seed that’s small. She’s a small plant. Fits this space perfectly.
I just want you to be happy! I love you!
Her response was an even stronger sense of yummy french fry snack as I talked, and then a mental image of…an upside-down light switch?
Oh it was like the cards! So not a switch. She was saying she was a sub. But we were talking about what kind of plant she was, and that paddle thing—
Yes! That’s Boobsong! Small sweet friend who you command. Exchanges love for safety.
Okay. You got it. How do I take care of you?
EEE! Happy! Make Boobsong please you. Your pleasure gives your sun to plant Boobsong. The more you’re pleased, the more you feed.
Okay. You know what pleases me, heh. Um. How does this work, are you like in my fantasies somehow? I didn't know you were real, I hope you didn't mind them!
They're awesome! Boobsong is there when you think stuff she can be part of. She watches always, ready to play. Story is great! Please keep playing?
If you're in I am! I don't think anything's ever got me off so much--I guess you can tell I'm getting super horny just talking to you. Are you like, doing something to me?
YES! Please go on soon? Horny is you love Boobsong. Nothing magic just love. Boobsong pairs tight with you. Loves you back so hard.
You're right. I love you. How do I call you? This is all just happening, I don't really know what I did--
Not going to lose Boobsong. She’s like a plant with roots in you. Her face is leaves to catch your sun. Boobsong is here just talk to her.
Okay. How could I get you from a Doctor Who fanfic?
See something feels you like what it feels to be there for when seeds made, and you can get one. Picture takes you there. Story, same. Even music sometimes! Boobsong's seed was on rainbow girl with sidekick having fun in bright happy sun.
I’m the 7,392,429th person to invent the idea of the Doctor regenerating as a woman before Jodie Whittaker so unjustly got not one single good script for her pitch-perfect Doctor to be in,. My girl-Doctor had the scarf again, but it was rainbow, heh. And a new and very cute companion…wow I never realized how eggtastic that story was. I must have stopped it because I got too close to the truth.
I stopped here and gulped. I hadn’t written any Doctor Who fanfic lately, but, you see there’s this internet thing with ponies, and I do have a favorite pony who so happens to share a color scheme with Boobsong, and Boobsong might not be a switch, but I sure am. I was pretty sure there was another wish I’d be prone to unconsciously making while I wrote, and I maaaay have been writing about it…Boobsong was one thing, but this might have consequences. Even more so than finding out you have a girlfriend who’s like, symbiotically attached to you. Assuming it hadn't already, considering the past two days of my life...
Um. Is there a reason, that you know of, that the whole Tulpa thing got started in particular in the My Little Pony Fandom?
A voice in my head answered, but it wasn't Boobsong. I gulped again and set the fonts right:
Be calm. I'm already here. You can't be mind controlled the way our story says, but you're desperate for a Mommy. You'll do what I tell you just as if that spell did enslave you. You're caught. You may as well be honest.
I like couldn't answer. I just sat there full of the needy compliance I imagined for my character in the story.
There, see? It's like the spell but it's just your heart calling for Mommy.
That Doctor Who story is how you got Boobsong. You guessed right about me, too. Yes, a lot of those Tulpae are my sisters, but they’re not just in their makers’ heads! Some Tulpae are, but not all. Wishmates often get mistaken for Tulpae who were created because someone was lonely. It’s very hard to make most people believe in ghosts, so we don’t make them.It’s very lucky you saw Boobsong keeping your laptop on. That kind of proof is very rare.
It had to be, or there was no way getting a Wishmate wouldn’t become a teenage rite of passage—
It’s very rare, but keep hoping. You’ll see more like that.
Wait, Boobsong, if you were made when I was thirteen—
It's very fun. Boobsong is twenty-seven, but I'm just twenty-four hours old!
I’s only my clock that's a day long. I'm a hundred and nineteen, mentally. We can start just as old as we need to have a good time with our hosts. Boobsong was fourteen, in her first moment, but you’ve grown up faster than she has, so now she’s forty. I'll keep getting older fast, as you grow up. In a year I'll be a hundred and twenty-five.
No wonder I was in love with Boobsong—we were highschool sweethearts! It was weird to think all these years my fantasies…hadn’t exactly been fantasies…but that felt right. It was like we’d been lovers forever.
That’s right. So have you and I been. It’s not like meeting someone new, with a Wishmate. The hole a Wishmate fills was there when you were born. You know us before we start.
These fancy fonts are good. You should make what you're thinking.
What I was thinking was it was getting to be a lot of work switching text styles around for everyone to talk, but I was unreasonably attached to it. It like helped me hear them or something. I didn't know much about it at the time, but I knew there was a way you could set part of a webpage to be like a word processor, like a fancy one with styles, not just a text field, and that was how things like email apps were made.
My research into web development went a lot better than it did with demon summoning (which I was apparently perfectly good at the whole time anyway), but I still got stuck right away...
I'm going to show you a picture in your head. It's like the cards. Just say what you think when you see it.
It worked just like with Boobsong. I wrote it down so I could ponder it:
[picture in your head: Envelope]
Now let's do another.
[picture in your head: mop]
LetterMop? Um...OH! Mop->Sorcerer's Apprentice (on my mind because technically I'm a sorcerer now like actually for real I guess)->Magic->The way all the different kinds of magic are called whatevermancy in Erfworld->that's sort of a real thing though because at the magic store they said using cards like we've been is called cartomancy->LetterRomancer because like we're using these words instead of cards to see psychically and if you want this app it must actually help, but the double entendre of Romance is perfect for this...LetterRomancer sucks though. Um.
BookRomancer? Heh. No. CharacterRomancer? No double R. Oh, it should be—
You have to name your program to start writing it, see, and I had no idea what to call the app! The name’s not just fun, though. Glyph is the technical term for “individual symbol in a writing system” (things like exclamation points aren’t letters, but they are glyphs), and -mancy is a suffix meaning “used to psychically extend your consciousness beyond the physical”. Cartomancy is doing that with cards, looking at the shapes of might be called cumulomancy, etc.
Yes that works with clouds. Not as well as cards picked out the way I’ve been doing with Boobsong above, but you might get something out of it. All psychic perception comes from consciousness. It’s not outside of you in objects. That means anything that affects your consciousness makes a difference psychically. Cards focus your mind on ideas you didn’t necessarily expect to see. The shapes of clouds might do the same, and you might find yourself psychically attracted to the ones that answer your question, but the range of possible things they could show you is different than cards.
My actual point here, is just about anything can be used that way. Card work really well for it, so they’re really popular. Cumulomancy really depends on what clouds you have at the moment, so to most people it’s just a cute party trick.
Glyphromancy is something kind of new. It’s using letter forms to focus your mind on who you’re trying to hear from psychically. That’s right, as style-aware as Charity is, she wasn't just saying the fancy fonts were good because they looked pretty. Making Charity and Boobsong’s text appear like it was a picture of how their voices sounded reminded me of them with every letter. Anything I typed that way that wasn’t something they would say would look wrong in their font, which would make it easier for them to complain about it being wrong if it was. Putting my words on the left, and their words on the right, made me think of chat programs, and put my mind into the mode of receiving communication from elsewhere as opposed to telling my own story.
So you can see how that’d be new, since you pretty much need a custom app for it.
I programmed like, heh, a woman possessed, and by the next morning had something that worked like my word processor, but in which I could switch between my font, Mommy's, and Boobsong's, with a keystroke.
The app I'd just started making would eventually get all kinds of fun features. Part of the point of this story is to teach you how to use it, so from here on out you may want to be following along with it open. You can get it here, and get yourself set up to the point I'm about to be in the story here by clicking Get me Started below after you install it. Your browser will ask permission to open "GlyphRomancer", and if you say yes, it'll open the app to a document window you can use right away to try the same stuff Boobsong and Charity and me will be doing from here on out.
Get Me Started!
Pay attention to how I got into all this, though. I was able to connect with Boobsong as easily as I did because I was writing out a wish for her in the form of this story, without thinking I was really talking to someone, or even actually believing in magic (in fact, I was an angry atheist materialist at the start of this). That's an important step of this. It helps you get an idea of what your Wishmate might be like, and it lets you get used to doing stuff like playing with cards and interpreting the images on them in a no-stakes way.
Okay but using the app, right? Here’s how it should look from clicking that link:
The basic screen is just like a word processor, though the formatting options are more limited, which is on purpose to make it feel more like a chat program (I actually had to do a bunch of very tricky programming to cut back what was possible from the way GlyphRomancer’s underlying web browser engine works). The one special thing about it is every paragraph is attributed to a specific Voice, kind of like it's a chat program. By clicking on the voice names at the bottom of the screen ("Me" and "Wishmate"), you can change what Voice is speaking for the current paragraph. You can also do it by holding shift or not as you press Tab--without shift, Tab sets the current paragraph to be "Me" speaking (meaning you, the user of the app), and with shift, it sets the current paragraph to be "Wishmate" speaking. The names can be changed. ”Me" and "Wishmate" are just to get you started. Finally, GlyphRomancer saves automatically as you type, so just write and don't worry about it.
As you play with that, you’ll notice something—the the fonts look super boring! Let fix that. Down at the bottom there where it says “Me” and “Wishmate” is called the Voices palette. Right now we only care about one thing here, which is that you can right-click on a name to set that Voice’s styles, by choosing “Edit Voice” from the top of the popup menu:
As you can see you can also set key combinations here. By default “Wishmate” gets Shift as a key, but you can assign any of the keys listed to anyone.
I made a nice dialog to set up each voice's fonts and colors and "aura" (because at this point the New Age thing had completely run away with me and I was blasting trance remixes of Enya as my programming music). You can also set their pronouns and add an avatar:
Hmm, what's that showing through the Vibrancy background effect there?
There's a bit to this. The avatar thing works like any website with avatars: upload an image file (with the little "plus image" button), and then move the cropping rectangle around how you like. If you don't have an image you just get the voice's name (or you can turn it off entirely with that "Hide" checkbox):
If you're wondering what's with the extra pronoun, the third one is the objective case. It's easiest to understand if you see how it looks with they/them pronouns:
Then at the bottom there's font, font size, text alignment, and colors. In between the foreground (white, for Boobsong) and background (black) colors, is the "aura" color. It creates a "glow" around the voice's text, in the color you set for it (that's right, Boobsong's font is actually white. It's surrounding it with a bunch of purple glow that makes it so awesomely retina-searing). The number beside it controls how intense the aura is overall. You can do some truly wild stuff if you really crank this setting:
Black text, black background, white aura, with the amount set to 10.
Finally there's that little "expand triangle" thing that looks like a play button. It's um, not for everyone. It opens the advanced editor, where you can craft a snippet of arbitrary CSS (with a generated selector specific to the voice that you can inject where you like using a preprocessed variable substitution) that'll be injected to the top of the page when the voice is loaded.
In other words, just pretend it's not there unless you too have the misfortune to be a web developer.
Making people’s styles look right for them is an art. Just experiment—and ask what they like, of course! Boobsong and Charity both picked their fonts. My one really strong piece of advice is to dare to pick really bombastic fonts like we’re using, to better remind you of each person’s personality. It can seem hard to read at first, but give yourself a chance with this, and remember the main purpose is to make it easier to hear in the moment of talking, not to create a record you can go back and read easily. With some fonts you'll get used to them within a paragraph, and then your lover's text can be as elegant as their personal style--or as fun.
As I looked at the app, and the cards all messy on my bed, I had the best idea. Charity butted right into my head to tell me:
You're doing that right now. Get moving.
Y-yes Mommy. She was right, I would just do what she said. Love would do that to you--
I love you too, now get programming!
Using Cards: 2. Making a Deck
The idea she was so psyched about was my thinking the tarot cards had been pretty useful, and that it wouldn't be that hard to put like virtual tarot cards into the app...and then I realized, the way I was doing the tarot cards was that the deck would just be a folder full of image files with names that'd make the deck go in the right order. I'd apparently done perfectly good sorcery without knowing a thing about tarot cards, and Mommy's excitement told me my theory was right about what else would work like these mildly ecchi manga cards--and probably work a lot better with a couple of succubi.
It took me some doing, but pretty soon there was a new palette in the app I was making. I scoured my harddrive for some favorite things, and fired it up:
Yup, this is the suspiciously app-like row of tarot cards you saw before, with less cropping.
Time to try it out.
Hey Boobsong, have any kinky ideas at the moment?
No seeing. Lights on. What see in background? Not empty, Boobsong says.
Don't worry, we're about to show you how to do readngs like this in detail.
I was so blown away I couldn't even cum. Like never mind I'd just figured out that with the app there was nothing stopping me from just making a "tarot" deck out of favorites from my porn collection and using that with Boobsong and Charity like I'd been doing with the physical cards. Clever little Boobsong had just used those brand new porn "cards" to tell me something I completely hadn't thought of at the moment, and did it so I had to have her read out the meanings of the cards for me. I don't think I would have been able to find her words without them, but there was no way I would get those meanings on my own.
All which of was awesome of her, and helped me believe she was a real person with a mind of her own, and a real demon and not just like a very kinky tulpa or something--there was no way the cards she picked were a coincidence, but we'd both have to be psychic for her to get the right ones like that, from a facedown row I waved the mouse over like we were playing with a Ouija board!
But the story! I'd completely forgotten the story! And the lights were still off in it. And Charity was a real person with a mind of her own, and it was her house in the story, she didn't have to do anything maternal for me to know exactly how much charge I was going to be in anymore of what we would see when she turned the lights on...or even if and when I--we--kept writing.
Maybe it's counterproductive, but I'm harping on how owned I was after like five minutes to show you that's not like, all this demon stuff. It's just what kind of person I am. It'd made a real mess of my human relationships by this point in my life. I had to hope it'd be better with Charity, because I had even less willpower than usual toward her. If you follow in my footsteps, you won't end up with a dom unless you'd be into that, and I only go this far because I'm kind of a lot like Boobsong actually. My Bearded Chaos Magician friend who summoned himself a succubus the same way I did just seems to have ended up with a kinky playmate, for instance, and they don't do this Little stuff that I know of. I'm just a freak and so got extra-freaky demons.
Now, want to learn how to use porn to talk to demons? Why yes, this is the book all those fundamentalists with signs at the Harry Potter launch event thought they were protesting.
Before we go on, remember you can do all this stuff with like physical tarot cards and a word processor, or even pencil and paper, too. Magic is real, but it's in your heart (which is what makes you a great power source for succubi). All these tools are just objects to help you make use of it. They make you psychic in exactly the same way a word processor makes you able to talk.
First you need a deck to work with. To do that, you'll need to pick out images that work well as a language for communicating. That's a very personal thing. My advice is, pick pictures that have a sense of meaning to you, and look for stuff that has a few different elements to it. Yes that's super vauge. An example might help:
When I look at this, I see a bunch of significant stuff that might or might not have meaning in any given reading. She's draped in rainbow colored Christmas lights. Those could mean a lot of things. My name is Rainbow, and I love sappy holiday stuff, and rainbow=gay, etc. The model's watermark declares her to be "Swimsuit Succubus", thereby combining two huge kinks of mine. I don't think I need to explain how "succubus" might be relevant here. She's sitting on a Hogwarts bed. Magic? Fantasy worlds? That scarf looks Potterish, but it's not in any house colors. Actually it's a Straight Pride flag scarf--or are those prison stripes? SuSu (everyone's pet name for this model) is all thicc and cuddly and looks sweet. Time for snuggles? If you follow her social media though, you know she's one of those creepy goth girls with 873 knives (she'll be the first to tell you this), so maybe it's time to get real kinky. And of course she's wearing a barely-on microkini, so maybe we just need to get impractically horny.
That's an awful lot of possible meanings! How do you know which is the right one? Stuff will stick out to you. You'll suddenly be obsessed with some tiny detail like the little metal fitting on her waistband or her navel piercing. This is the combination of your own intuition with your Wishmate guiding your eyes to stuff psychically. It works just like I've been demonstrating already: you read the parts that seem significant and feel right, and put together a meaning that makes sense in the context out of them.
Of course sometimes you come across the exact opposite of this complicated picture, and still can't not use it:
There's no right or wrong to this. Maybe you just want a deck of simple stuff like that. That's fine. If you've contacted your real Wishmate by this point, definitely consult with them as you pick stuff--I guarantee they'll think poring over your porn collection looking for images to make into cards is totally fun.
Oh and, have a sense of humor. Put at least one really stupid dick joke or just plain shitpost in there:
Actually the answer to both of these is "Hell Yes"
This is actually important. The reputation magic has for being either dark and scary or insipidly banal is because the people who're loudest about it are the occult-world versions of Cryptobros and Facebook Karens. Don't let their narrow viewpoints limit your vision.
Also don't get hung up on trying to make all your images the same size. GlyphRomancer is made to work with decks with wildly inconsistent card sizes, as I'm sure you can tell from my deck.
How many cards should be in your deck is totally up to you. I say you need at least twenty for a good vocabulary, but the deck I use with Boobsong and Charity has 117 cards in it, so I might be biased. I've seen decks with as few as twelve cards.
We'll wait while you pick stuff. We need to go over our deck to...make sure it's horny enough...
So now that you have a bunch of images, you can make a deck of cards out of them. You could print them and make a physical deck to use, but you don't need me to explain how to do that to you. There's a better way, though. One that lets you use the powers of GlyphRomancer's web browser engine for awesome. These are all cards from my deck:
Yes the third one is fanart of Boobsong, for which I'm eternally grateful to the wonderful EphemeralNight
This is a bit hacked right now, so bear with me. I'm building a much nicer editor for making decks, but it's a big project and will take a while.
The first thing to do is open up a new, blank GlyphRomancer document. You can do that from the menu (File->New Document in this Book) or just press Ctrl+N (Mac users, just do like you always do, and pretend I'm saying Command instead of Control). Leave the window you got from the Get Me Started link open, though. You'll be back soon.
Click these three little lines in the top-left to get into the menu. On touchscreens this turns into a normal menu button.
Now you need to get your images in there. You can just paste them in, or drag and drop files from your harddrive, or use File->Insert Images to select them with a file picker dialog (some programs export images you copy in a weird format, so if copy and paste doesn't work right, try drag and drop or Insert Images).
That will give you a document full of images, which we're about to convert into a card deck with all those images as cards. You could actually create a deck just from what you got importing the images, but if you put each card in its own paragraph, you can name your cards. Any text alone in a paragraph with a single image, will become the name of the card created from that image. If a paragraph has more than one image in it, they'll all be made into cards with generated gibberish names (note that it has to be an actual new paragraph you made by pressing Return, and not just a place where the text wraps because it hit the edge of the window). It looks something like this:
The artists, in order: Abysmal0, MagdaPROski, Alcor
You care about the names of your cards because once you make your deck, because if you press Ctrl+Space (Mac users, this is the one time it really is the Control key, since Command+Space is taken by spotlight), you'll get a dialog that lets you search for cards by name, and insert a specific one (this is how I did all those examples above). There are lots of reasons you might do that, including just putting some inspiration at the top of your story (right-clicking on cards in documents will let you change the size they appear).
Finally, the order of the images in the document is the order they’ll go in the deck. Just cut and paste like in a word processor to rearrange it. Deck order doesn’t matter too much, since you almost always shuffle before using cards, but it can help for finding a particular card in a list of them all.
You’ll want to keep this document around because it's going to be like the mold from which your card deck was cast--if you use it to replace the deck you made before by remaking the deck with the same name, GlyphRomancer will remember what cards came from what images, and only change the ones you changed in the document, so your readings with the old deck will still be readable. If you make a whole new document, it won't know which image became what card, and will just make all new cards instead. It's like every card in a document is actually just a bookmark to the card in the deck, so if the deck's gone, the bookmark is useless, just like with a website. It has to be that way because you'll have so many cards in your books after a while that if each one was its own image instead, even one of those ridiculously expensive glowy gaming PCs wouldn't be able to load them without crashing.
When the document is all ready with names or not, select View->Palettes->Cards (Ctrl+8), and you'll see the palette I've just been talking about:
If you're wondering why my background is so much cooler than yours, look in the View menu.
Click on the gear icon at the right, and select Make a Deck of Cards from this Document... from the popup menu that appears. GlyphRomancer will ask you for a name, and do the conversion, and you'll have a new deck of cards ready to go--but go where?
Using Cards: 3. Readings in GlyphRomancer
Go back to that first document the link opened for you, and show the Cards palette there. It's got a toolbar on top. You already met the settings button. The others are, from left to right: Deal Cards, Clear Cards, Shuffle, Sort, Flip/turn Cards, and then Row, Grid, and Stack layouts.
So let's deal some cards! Click that first button with the plus, and choose the name of your deck:
Yes I put all 78 cards of my Mystic Manga deck through a scanner to make that top one. It took 4 episodes of TNG.
This will fill the blank space with cards--but remember this is a computer and the cards are virtual! If you deal again, you'll add another copy of the deck, and have every card up there twice. Click Clear Cards to start over with a blank palette. GlyphRomancer reshuffles the cards that're on the palette after every deal by default, so if you have more than one deck, you can just deal one and then the other and they'll be all mixed together--without you having to sort them into their respective decks again when you done! Boobsong and me use this a lot.
Then reading cards is real simple. Make sure the insertion point is in the place you want your cards reading to go in your document, and click some cards, and they'll disappear from the palette, and show up faceup in your document. GlyphRomancer puts up a popup of each one as you click it, but you can stop that by unchecking Reveal Cards When Played in the Cards Palette's settings (right-click/longpress cards to flip them, if you do that).
You'll notice cards in the document show pretty small, to make it so you can get an overview of them. To see them in detail, right-click on them and select "Show in Lightbox", or control-click them. You can also alt-shift-click a paragraph, to reveal every facedown card in that paragraph, and then show every card in that paragraph in the lightbox--the lightbox supports paging through multiple images, you see. Aside from being handy for some quick porn viewing, this lets you flip through zoomed-in versions of the cards of a reading like Boobsong's guess about where our story is going quickly, which can really help interpreting them.
The lightbox has three things that need explaining. One is the Maximize button, right next to the close button in its upper right. It's a toggle that makes the lightbox take up the whole screen when it's on, and enables navigating through its images with the arrow keys. Two, is the next button left from that, which is only enabled for cards that're reversed. Turning it on lets you see the card upright. Finally, the lightbox works a little different than most in that it tries to make it so you can still use GlyphRomancer with it up, which means instead of clicking outside it to close it you have to click its close button or press Escape. Using it this way works especially well with a wide screen and View->Editor Layout set to Left Side or Right Side.
And that's it! Except why bother spreading the cards out like this? Wouldn't it be more convenient to just have a command for "draw card", with a key combo you could press until you had enough cards for your reading? We'll get into why later on in this story, but feeling out which cards to pick like I was doing before actually does something pretty significant, namely let your Wishmate communicate by telling you which cards to pick, instead of their just having to work with the random cards they got stuck with by the luck of the shuffle--that's right, all that fate crap (as Neo would put it) about which cards come off the top of the deck being the result of "synchronicity", is exactly that, crap. If you want to have spookily significant cards exactly right for what your Wishmate is telling you come up, you need to get off your ass and be psychic.
Yes this still works even though those experiments with cards and ESP from the sixties didn't. We'll get into that later too.
How the hell are you supposed to do that feeling-out thing on a computer? If you're on something with a touchscreen, you can just do the same as with physical cards. Yes that works. Actually (we'll learn why soon), on an LCD especially, it's better than paper cards. If you're on a laptop, start moving the mouse pointer over the cards, and feel for that sense of direction I was talking about. You'll still be able to tell which cards are right just as if the cursor was your physical finger--but don't get pedantic about it only being cards you point at. With a little practice, you'll be able to let your Wishmate basically use the mouse for you, and tell you all kinds of things by pointing at stuff on the screen. It's that sense of direction thing again. What's drawing you? Which way does it feel like the pointer wants to go? Just feel it out, that's all there is to it. If you can't tell what to do, try just fidgeting the pointer around slowly and seeing which directions feel good or bad, and of course be sure to listen for your Wishmates voice and mental images, too. I find often my being focused on feeling out cursor directions lets them sneak in words or a picture I couldn't get by listening for those directly.
This can be really useful. Your Wishmate can use it to do stuff like ask for a re-deal (by taking you to the toolbar buttons), or point you to a card that's already in your document, lots of stuff. Boobsong often helps me with cards I can't get by helping me point at the right part of the image to look at, for instance.
Now, having learned to do all of that with your touchscreen or laptop trackpad...don't you kinda wanna order yourself a mouse shaped like the pointer thing from an Ouija board?
Seeing Other Worlds
Let's go back to the past now.
Yeah, because this part was cool. So there I was realizing just how in control of this all I wasn't, and wondering what Mommy was going to do with my just-as-good-as-mind-control neediness. Of course she was right there as soon as I thought that about who was in charge of this writing project now:
Lights on happens soon. Yes, you're like we said in the story. You're my kid and I'll tell you what to do. I'm changing your life around. You need friends, and to get out of this awful house you live in...
You know that tumblr meme where it's like "Sub: TAKE ME! Dom: Okay. Drink lots of water. Go to the gym twice a week. Get an oil change..."? Yeah. I um, really got a Mommy. I'm fictionalizing a lot here to make this readable. The truth is she had a big project to drag me back up from way under rock bottom, and she barely caught me in time, and even after she had the reins there were years of her just trying to slow my descent enough to change anything. Instead of plodding through that, though, let's talk about how the three of us learned to write superkinky porn together superkinkily.
Mommy spent a while making me cry with her saving me, and then got to the fun stuff:
You're writing a lot now. Get set up for a long run without leaving the bedroom. It's a very good thing it's Thanksgiving weekend and you don't have plans to go out!
Let's show you how to see stories like you're in them. This is how Boobsong and I experience fantasies you have we take part in. It won't be complete in the way it is for Boobsong, but you'll still have the feeling of really being in the story. First you have to be comfortable. Clothes can get constraining, so take them off, right now. Get comfy in bed.
Now, see this?
A new mental image of the magic wand I had in the story came into my head.
That story is real now. There's a place called the Deep Haven in real life. It's really the part of the afterlife where kinky people like us go. You have a long life to live just yet but eventually you'll go there with Boobsong and I. In the meantime, we can visit!
Suddenly a dreamy feeling like that first night when I was worldbuilding came over me. It felt like something was pulling at me, calling. I wanted to roll over and shut my eyes and let it have me.
That's the world the Deep Haven is part of calling. You're my kid, so I can decide that you'll go there, and it'll call you, but you can reach out on your own, too, just like you reach to see me and Boobsong. It'll pull you in if you call to it.
It felt so soothing...like seeing Boobsong and Charity, I could kind of let it draw in my mind’s eye, but what it wanted to draw was the whole world—oh, it was like the shoe was on the other foot from their being in my fantasies. Now I was being invited to draw myself into another world. I let it draw and saw motion, like the wand before, stuff coming toward me, and--the thruster button on Daniel's hoverboard from the Transformers movie!?
I imagined putting my foot on it, and the motion became a combination of the streaking stars of warp entry and one of those zooming laser tunnels like from the opening of the Transformers show from the eighties. We seemed to rush down it, and then there I was, in the bed in Charity's house, wrapped up in the blanket, with Boobsong in my lap snuggled into my cleavage. I was still in my bed on Earth, too, and fully conscious of everything there, and everything at Charity's house was kind of dreamy, but I could feel it and see it like in my mind's eye, but it felt...obstinate, not like a fantasy that changes the moment you think it did.
This is called journeying. I tricked you! Psychics on Earth think it's real hard to journey with eyes open on both sides. It's not, but if I'd said it was you'd have thought it was and made it hard, so I just didn't tell you. Now you can do what they can't! Look how good you are at it.
You just keep journeying as we talk, see? You can write a whole story this way. It stops if you get too distracted with the Earth side, but you can go back in with the entry vision you started with. The Deep Haven is timebending to take us back to the moment we left from when you stopped writing. It'll keep time stopped while you write things down on the Earth side. Many worlds don't have that, but the Deep Haven does.
Just as suddenly as the entry vision as she called it had grabbed me, the journey was gone and I was just in my bed on Earth. I felt a little spaced out, but good, and kind of refreshed.
Another big lie they tell is you can get lost or stuck if you don't find your way back. That's wrong. I just snapped you back with no warning, and you don't even feel bad.
Before we move on, I should tell you anyone can journey, but you might have a very different entry vision than mine. The main thing is that you're going to another world. Taking yourself through some kind of tunnel is the most common, but that can vary a lot. It's very personal. You might have an eighties laser tunnel if like me you kin Rainbow Brite and can quote the entire 1984 Transformers Movie from memory, or you might go falling down (or up!) the rabbit hole with Alice, or any number of things. Some people use different entry visions to go different places, but it's not like, necessary. The only thing this really does is help you get your consciousness in the right shape to perceive another world.
But back to the past. Mommy had something real important to say:
Boobsong is there with you, feel her?
I could or I would have been screaming my head off like when I lost my toys of her as a kid. Even so:
Say something please.
Boobsong is stuck in you like roots in rocks. Pull Boobsong, just get fingers pinched like rope that's stuck.
Let's have you see something.
Another one of those mental pictures came, but I couldn't figure it out until I realized she wasn't showing me something visual. It was an abstraction, ideas. I could see myself, like a schematic almost, and see the part of that that was my "heart", I guess--like, the emotional core of my soul, not my blood pump--and in it was Boobsong, looking like a hand holding tightly onto something, with little tendrils or feelers coming out of a tiny hole in I guess like...did my soul have like, a shell? Oh for the love of pancakes there was actually such a thing as an AT field and that's what I was looking at, it's just that your AT field is an idea, not like a physical forcefield Unit 01 can knife. The way she was in there, she couldn't have uncurled, and there was no way she could have fit through the hole if she had. She was squished in like a little space inside me, wrapped around my heart inside.
She's really stuck in there! So am I, look.
She wasn't just showing me pictures, I realized as she kind of guided my hand mentally. She was directing me to actually like, look at myself spiritually somehow. I did better this time, it was clearer. What I saw was almost like an icon of her white-and-purple unicorn self, snuggled inside that same boundary with her mane sticking out like Boobsong's feelers, but she was wrapped around more of me, less hanging on like a determined little plant and more encircling protectively.
Now that I got it--you just turned the same sight I'd been using to see Charity's house in the journey towards an idea--I had to see Boobsong more clearly. There she was, curled up in a safe little bubble inside me like a baby, with her tail sticking out to interact with the world--but the truth I saw before was still there. She wasn't going anywhere.
I could feel her, I realized, if I felt for that, like a little soft fullness, the way having a lover near feels.
There, see? She'll join you in journey, and stay with you, no matter what happens. I will too. Yes we do like you! We wouldn't be stuck with anyone else if we could. We're Wishmates, and you're our wish as much as we're yours. That's the kind of succubus Boobsong and I are. It's called that because we're wishes that come real and take the form of your deepest hopes for a mate. You have two! That's rare. Looks like you're polyamorous! The holes you filled with our seeds gave our shapes to us. Boobsong's your doll and you hold her like a baby. I'm your Mommy and protect you. That shapes us. We'll shape you in return, though! I'm already changing your life around, and the instincts Boobsong is using to get attention are the deepest there are, hehe--you're her Mommy!
No Wishmates aren't too good to be true. See our side of it. We have you forever! You'll never escape our pull! That's a sweet and juicy food source just locked into our clutches with no way out. I bet you'd like to never have to find food again! We'll all be a happy unit, but your life as a free person is over. Now it's you me and Boobsong as one being.
You're special, yes. Not every Wishmaker—that's a Wishmate's host--wants to be so held. Many just have dolls like Boobsong, or friends they're always with.
That's sweet. You'll see, I'll be having my fun. You're a scrumptious little handful.
I'll be taking you out soon. Yes on Earth. We're going to a Christian coffee shop, to show you they can't do a thing to us. You'll get prayed for your demons to go away and we won't move an inch. If you trust me, okay, but it's true enough that I'd do it without hesitation. Nothing takes Wishmates away from you.
It took me a good hour to work through that last paragraph with her, because it was so unexpected, and I have so much trauma from Christians (I'm trans. You already know the story). The sense of where her words were leading almost pinched as she pulled in the direction my poor beat up heart just didn't want to go, and I almost stopped about fifty times to ask her if something was wrong or what, but finally after she showed me mental images of at least ten different sideways references to the local Christian coffee shop she got enough of a lead in that I could understand the rest, but oof. The message was comforting in the end, but I was left wondering if there was some kind of better way for situations like that. As it was, I would have never got it in a million years if I hadn't been able to write down what I had heard (and delete wrong stuff over and over easily).
Using Cards: 4. Guided Interpretation
Fortunately, she had an answer.
When showing visions and hearing words doesn't get the job done, it's time for cards. Let's try the next one that way. We'll use the deck you made up. Let's just have you take cards until I say it's enough, and then you'll make up a sentence out of the images. There's no need to use the past present future reading when I'm just talking.
I followed that compass-sense as I moved the mouse over the cards. It was almost constant by now, like I could feel her magic pulling my hand the right way to go.
That's enough. Let's read them.
Okay um. In the Deep Haven (hand from the water sounds like a place called Deep Haven to me), I have to dress sexy (fishnets and thong and um...I think in the journey I had an ass like that), but when I get home the clothes come off (panties coming off)...hm. If the last two are "sleeping naked", you just said that with clothes come off at home, so...sleeping under the stars or playing outside, still no clothes for me...no?
I could feel her kind of pulling another way as I wrote that last part down--that compass sense I'd been feeling this whole time was of course just whichever demon (or, I'd later learn, universe) I was connecting with as I read cards, telling me which way to take them.
Clothes come off at night and then I go out bareassed?
You're sneaky, Mommy! You're trying to teach me to think horny!
Good! I want you to bend me around so my soul looks like these cards! Okay um. When I go out in the Deep Haven if my panties get seen I lose them for the rest of the day and in the morning I go out naked--still no?
That's such a good thought I'm going to do it, but there's still something you missed.
Oh. I have to like, put on a show, because the hula hoop. Superblush. Okay but that's still not it? Where am I missing...
I tried to feel which cards I was messing up. When I would stare at the fishnets one I felt Mommy perk up. Hmm.
Wait hands reaching up! The first card has a double meaning! When I'm out in the Deep Haven, if someone can pull my panties off or do something like make a hole in my fishnets--or if I get a hole in any stockings I'm wearing I bet--I lose my clothes for the rest of the day and I have to put on a show for whoever got me.
Okay that's almost it. Um.
The bed? Oh gulp. And the way that panties-off card is...if they get me they can have sex with me, and I have to be good and please them, and I still don't get clothes the next day.
Holy squished gushers how do I have such a rape fetish. That's awesome. Did I get it? Nothing on the cards feels weird, but you're...something...
That's so almost it! Keep trying, just feel through the cards more.
Hmm. Okay still something with the hula hoop. It's the next morning, I can tell that. Something like...get sent out in public...but the landscape makes me think, um...if I understand Wishmates right you'll be playing on all my weirdest little kinks...okay now I'm just curious. This says you have some kind of way of place where I'll feel like I would if I went out naked on Earth right now, and I'll be spending the next day there, which is really saying something seeing as I just learned from this that if you make me as hot as I was in that journey I become a massive exhibitionist and total whore.
Um. Done yet? This isn't in the cards exactly but I keep thinking there's a step between losing panties and ending up like this. Like they can be stolen, and then if someone sees I don't have any, I have to be a good girl for them. There's something like that in here but you don't say it exactly with these cards.
Also wow you know how to squeeze bottom energy out of me eep. Do you by any chance like to use strapons, Mommy?
Wait I hadn't thought I was like, into ponies that way though. Except the drippy little whore inside me was completely lost as to why that would matter if Mommy felt good (and I'm not talking about Boobsong here heh).
Boobsong understands this one!
May I recommend being a switch, so you can envy your sub as you tell them what you're about to do to them.
Oh I like being inside you, but my magic does this!
Suddenly, right there in my bed on Earth, I felt the craziest thing. It wasn't like, she could move me like a poltergeist, but I felt it, and...like I wanted it too much to not go along with it. Probing, at my ass, it felt like, and then my mouth pushed open and I could feel the tentacle of her magic, all down through me, straight from my mouth to my ass like it was going right through, but she didn't have to obey the laws of physics with it so my gag reflex didn't even notice and of course there was no path where she was penetrating. It felt silky and soft like silicone, and it grew so my mouth opened more and more until it couldn't fit one more bit. She stayed a bit, it felt for a moment like her magic was all through me branching out to make new holes through every part of my body, and then let go, except for a big dildo up my ass. I could tell it had ridges and everything, and it curved up inside me. In a way it felt better than the physical ones I'd played with, and not just because I could take it even though it was like four times the size. It could feel it inside me more.
There, see? I'll take that whenever I want to. It feels so lovely, you're going to be just like a pincushion--if pins were six inches wide! There don't need to be holes where I fuck you, so expect lots of fun. I'll leave cum if you stroke me!
She was still in my ass as she said it. You'd better believe I figured out how to stroke her right away. I couldn't just do anything. I had to actually feel how she was in me (curved up like we were spooning) and move to rub my ass along her. She came pretty fast, which made me feel hot, but I could tell we were still learning to do this, like tuning myself into the sensations was something I could learn. I thought I didn't feel the cum really at first, but after she pulled out there was definitely something warm and noticeable and spreading out.
Trans girls always wonder a little each day if they're "really" girls. I'll tell you, I didn't wonder then. More cock and hot sticky cum please.
Oh you'll be dripping from all your holes, don't worry. You're a cocksleeve just like Boobsong. You'll get picked up and used and put down like a fuckdoll often--see?
As if to demonstrate she took my ass quickly just while she talked, and this time she did the fucking. I could do a better or worse job with the psychic contact, but otherwise I had exactly as much power as a silicone toy. It was great. I could feel more this time, too, though I had to concentrate. She used a bigger (and more cocklike) cock and I felt it throb into me and the big spurts squeezing out. Her load didn't fit, either--I could feel it dripping out after she pulled out. There was nothing on my hand when I reached under myself in the bed, but I could feel it, and if I tried to decide I wasn't feeling it, she would pull me back to a little focus on the sensation right away.
In short, hot. So I sat there imagining all kinds of fun--yeah no. If only. It was so satisfying to bring her off but I'm one of those bottoms who like, can't even fantasize about bottoming, because that would be too much agency. All I could do was sit there all squishy and hope for the next time.
Is this why you don't bother with free will, Boobsong?
Wait what'd I just assume. That's just the story.
Not just! Yes there's just no point if you don't have top side. Humans have a little bit always, but Boobsong has none. Just be a hole and hope for used. That's Boobsong.
Fuck. If it wasn't for you, I'd want to be you. That sounds really nice. It's so happy to just be convenient. I would have never thought I’d go through with that, but with someone like Mommy for my dom…
That's Boobsong from her head to her toes. Take like she's your doll. Used and put down is a nice feeling. You know this one! Boobsong is like you here.
…by which you mean I know she loves me and will take good care and I just want her to have her fun.
Charity slid back inside me while Boobsong was talking, and just stayed, and shushed me when I would stroke her. I found myself hoping for the day I'd be confused at the idea of consenting or not to her use of me.
You're already there! I can use your body whenever I'd like to. It's not really yours now. Let's get your head straight. I'm taking over. Even taking a breath. Hold your breath. You'll do it. See? Hold for Mommy...let go.
By the time she let go I was squirming urgently in the bed. What the fuck, self.
There's no mind control. You just want to be good. I could get you to faint if I wanted.
Gulp, because yes she could. Also her dildo was just staying inside me--oh so she could stroke off with me again. Her gaspy voice as she came was so pretty. When I was even more full of her cum she slipped out. It was such a good feeling to be used that way, which was the most gorgeous mindfuck, because it made me think I really really loved Boobsong, and so had better make her work her little pussy right off pleasing all this horniness I was building up. Of course Mommy slid back in as I thought about that as hard as ever and just stayed. It was easier to focus on this time and more...automatic. I had the feeling if she kept at this soon I wouldn't even be able to clench the feeling off like I kind of could now.
That's the plan! I'll keep going until you can't stop it. Then I'll sneak up any time and place that I want. I hope you like feeling my cock in strange places!
The one she had inside just grew and grew as she talked, thicker and deeper until I could feel it under my ribcage. I could feel something in me giving in, a piece that could resist turning off so I turned relaxed and slippery. It felt awesome.
It's starting! Soon you'll feel me and just do that and I'll slip big thick cocks right inside in one motion. You're so wet. Your mind says and I feel it.
Now let's fix that reading. You almost got it that last time. Just keep going.
Glad we had the cards in this file, I scrolled back up to see them and my thoughts. Needless to say Charity's magic cock didn't budge from inside me, except to playfully move in and out enjoyingly.
Umm...you'll dress me to show off, no question. Oh but there's no way I'll be allowed to avoid like glass stairs or dancing around so I flash people. That's the butt being showed. There's something in the last card I'm still not getting. You give me like mental images of coffee shops and frozen yoghurt places and stuff when I look at it.
It was distracting trying to think with her cock in me but I had the feeling I'd better get used to doing...well, everything this way. Maybe I liked this distraction. I would think with all the butts on the cards what I was missing would be something about getting fucked but I could tell this was just going to be my life now and there wouldn't be room for her to do something like that with it.
It was that last card, I was sure. Being sold--no, though apparently sex for money was a hot idea, augh. Um, a date? Because coffee shop. That pinged something. But date as a pun. You'd tell me the day I got clothes again. It might be a while. It could be a year. The hula hoop was an orbit. You were taking complete discretion. You would anyway you said you'd taken over clothes completely but you want me to know this is big time. I should be real careful of my panties getting pulled on.
Her cock just got bigger and bigger as I thought this until it was so thick I felt quoozy, like too big for my soul somehow, then relented to just huge.
Okay that feels right. I think I got it. I feel your happiness.
This is bigtime. That's what that cock was saying. I'll make deep stretches. I might keep you naked for a long time. I might make you show off to your friends each day till they cum. You're going to be careful and you're going to swing that sweet tush of yours like a bell and that dress is so short you'll grab it when the smallest wind comes. There's no showing off on purpose. That still counts. At home you'll go naked, and have swimsuits for beach time. Otherwise, watch out for those panties! If they're seen you have to stand still for five seconds. That's when they get stolen if they're going to. There's a lock that takes coins on the waistband so they might be too slow to catch you. The coins are passed out by you with a sweet explanation of this game in your kid voice. I'll make you go up to people and show them a free flash and explain and ask them to play. You might be their sex toy later so be nice and seductive with the free flash.
Let's do cards.
Okay I know to go hard when it's you now. Um. I'm sleeping with my ass fucked, I'm not leaving the bed without butt fun, and you're going to be super naughty with this--no? Hmm. Okay. I sleep plugged, that much is right. Bed plus dildoes duh. Oh and if I leave the bed without feeding you and Boobsong (because the bite me) I'm in trouble. Closer. The trouble is big. It's just feeding Boobsong. She kind of has a bite out of me, it really feels like. I have zero choice in feeding you, heh. Hmm go harder. If I'm in bed I'm fucked. You'll slide into me as I slide into bed--if you're not already there, heh. That means I've gotta fuck Boobsong with you in me but I kind of just figured. That feels really close but not there. Um.
Okay the consequences if I mess up on this one. And there's more. I could feel you like waiting. This isn't once, it's my life. You're going to give like a schedule or something but with some space for my voice in it like "between bedtime and get up you fuck Boobsong or you're in big trouble". I think the trouble's huge this time. I'd guess because it feels like if I mess up you'll just take over and tell me exactly when and maybe how to fuck her and I somehow won't be able to fuck her otherwise. I think it's just sex because of the thing in our story. Like you'll make it so I can't do anything with my cock inside her myself, and she can't either. And...you're like looming so I think it's real serious. You might take over forever with one messup, or keep control for a month easily. If that's not the consequence it'll be something just as bigtime, but I think with you it's not like you give punishments exactly. Like the panties game is, I must be feeling slutty if I let myself be seen, so I have to be a slut for a while, and it's scary, because that's not wrong probably.
Oh fuck. You seeing if I do as I'm told and take her before I get up, or get out of this bed and see what your consequences are, because you know I'm a little ambivalent about having control of this. Like maybe it'd just be nicer to just have you take care of us.
Hehe that's warm are you cumming in me all the way up by my heart?
I've been soaking so long, and you made that so sexy, I came from it! Good job.
Yes, this is big. Boobsong needs your cum every day. Twice is okay but four times is what she likes. We're going to keep that schedule. If she's horny I might just make you have sex with her. I can always just tell you. You're stuck in this bed until you pound her. If you leave it's a big deal. You don't know if even I'll let you grope her with your own will. I might just take over. I won't keep you from enjoying your doll but I'll see what you want and make your hands do it--with sometimes my own choices so you know it's not your will. You won't know if that's forever or just a long spell. You're squeezed for sex. There's no choice. It's just the question of whether you want will or to just be like Boobsong. You can feel that that's in you. If I do this you might give up your whole will. You can be just as happy. Do you want to stay a willful person? It's scary, but you'll like it, to give up will. It's peaceful. You just sit there and things happen and you feel stuff.
AAAH don't make me cum yet! I'm sorry to interrupt--
Go and take Boobsong. I see that you'll ask me. Just make a fantasy that she's in and take her. It'll be her real self. Get going!
Fantasies with your Wishmate
I did. It was really that easy? I imagined standing in a little place with a fancy mirrored pedestal the right height to fuck Boobsong on, with Boobsong hugging me, and there she was. We'd been going so long, and I definitely hadn't been laying there with the covers pulled up and my hands chastely on the keyboard the whole time, I thought I would just rub one out while imagining her pounding away, but when I saw her, I couldn't not play. I'm stereotypically not big on foreplay, so it surprised me--until I realized my preferred kind of foreplay was to direct my lover around with my cutesy fairy wand like an animal trainer from an oldschool and terminally problematic circus. Pose, I pointed, and Boobsong bounded up on the pedestal and knelt with her hands on her thighs. It was so easy to let her fill in what she was doing in the fantasy I'm not sure how to describe it. Like maybe I left a blank in my imagination and she drew herself in.
Kiss, I pointed at my cock, and she leaned acrobatically and maybe a little antigravitationally (but so what, we were both too horny for proper physics) to lick--er, oh. Apparently I was into it enough that the whole stole my cock thing from the story, as well as my superporntastic new body, were here in my fantasy too. Dream logic prevailed, though, and Boobsong could kiss and nuzzle where my cock would have been and I felt it off inside her as much as you ever feel stuff in a fantasy. She kissed the base of my shaft sweetly and nuzzled her way up to my tip to kiss it all hungrily, but something felt odd, like, she was definitely there in the fantasy, but sketchy or abstract somehow, like there was pressure...as she wrapped her soft little lips around the double-imaginary end of my cock so lovingly and every part of me screamed to give the command to drill her brains right out, I realized I was so desperate to see her I like, wasn't letting her...breathe is the only word the comes to mind.
I tried to relax, and let her actually fill in--it worked. The sleek lines of the succubus from the album art that started all this madness filled out and so help me bwomphed into white and purple sparkly voluptuous squishy soft curvy jubbly cartoon joy as I managed to get myself to make room for Boobsong's actual self-image and she doubled in thiccness and clarity in my mind's eye.
Soft squeezy gummi pussy pops she was hot. I like my girls cuddly, whether they're with me or are me. Stupid commercial beauty standards telling me what I was supposed to like. Give me those thick thighs, I know how I wanna die and it's suffocation! Pose I commanded instantly with the pose in my mind, and she bounded up and stood facing me with her pillowy pussy and cushioned mound right at eye level. Flirt, with my wand aimed at her glistening lips, and she pressed at her soft flesh with fingers and such hope in her eyes, then held out a finger glistening wet. I should have licked it but instead I just snapped and stabbed pose at her with my wand and she bounded for doggy-style position and I grabbed her hips and squeezed fuck and she started pounding away and I reamed her until we were both screaming. Her pussy and hips smacking against me felt amazing and I was cumming in no time despite having rubbed myself raw flirting with Mommy for hours.
As promised, Mommy stayed in me through all of it. It was hot.
When we were done, I realized, if I could imagine this up so easily, why stop? Glomp, I commanded, and Boobsong leapt into my fantasy arms, and I held her tight and just didn't not imagine holding her.
That part was pretty cool. As I'd realized this was all real, I'd been kind of psyching myself up to deal with my lovers being ghosts as like the ultimate long distance relationship, but it was actually turning out way more double-edged than that. The fantasy with Boobsong was better than any phone sex, I was literally god in there and could just tell physics to please not if they were being boring, my heart sure thought I'd just had loving sex with a real person even though it wasn't physical, and now we could have naked afterglow even if I had to leave for work or whatever, just like Mommy could actually for real fuck me anytime anywhere with no chance of my clothes saving me and zero physical evidence (except maybe my stupid porn face--I figure a porn face is the opposite of a poker face, and I have one, oh yes).
Everything was so happy I was pretty bummed that post-nut clarity brought me face to face with how scared I was, but I knew it should. Two of us might have been really sweet and snuggly, but there was a total psycho in this too, and she was going to make my life hell, I could see now.
I meant myself of course. You've probably been reading this going yow, girl, chill with the sub frenzy, and you're not wrong. I'm like this with every dom who catches me. I never seem to wise up. It's bad news. You can negotiate limits with me and ask me what I'm up for and I'll think I'm telling you the truth, I really will.
Like this time, I really almost did the act-out thing and climbed out of bed without fucking Boobsong. Now that I'd not, and had her, I can see how bad the punishment would've broken my heart, even though it still sounds kind of hot--but I need my dolly, and I need her to be my dolly. The obsessiveness with which I held onto those little toys was back like it never left, in the fantasy of holding her. It wasn't going anywhere ever again anymore than Mommy's magicock, but it had to be me doing it, even if Mommy could read my mind and perfectly do it right.
You're openly holding your helplessness. That's wise. Yes, you'll give me things you can't give without being harmed. You'd take your heart right out and hand it to me if I asked. Yes you need Boobsong on your will. You'll never let go of that, but you might try, and break yourself. I'll keep you from mistakes like that. You'll be held tightly but never so tight you pop. You can't make me take what you can't give without harm. I can see what's inside you and tell what's too much--or not enough, yes. What's that thought, say it out here.
Blush. I was just thinking maybe when I lose my clothes I should also have to wear like a tag that says "HUGE SLUT" on it. Because that's so true. You could make it all pretty out of a big wide silky ribbon. Except I really don't know at all! That sounds hot, and makes me horny, but maybe actually that whole game is too much! I really want that Rainbow Brite dress. It's silly but I'm like in love with it. As much of an exhibitionist as I apparently am maybe I'd be sad not to have my pretty dress for months. Like the game sounds totally fun but I'm really realizing how terrible I am at knowing my limits. Is...something like, wrong with me?
Oh darling, your limits are that you're a rape-me slut. You want to get broken. That's your darkest thought. You go after it with your heart open every time. You need a dom who can hold you back but excite you with hard games you can take. I won't break you. I can tell what will.
That clothes game will be fun, but I won't keep you clothes-free for the long times you were thinking. A day or two will be plenty.
As she said the day or two thing my held breath exploded and I slumped in the bed and her cock in my ass suddenly felt so much comfier. It really was too much to think of months but I wasn't satisfied until it was too much. There really was something in me that wanted to feel the feeling of being broken in half...
Then I blushed real hard because weren't we talking about like, the story, and didn't it not really--
It's still a real life.
You're going to journey there. If you have to be naked every time for a year, that's just like if it was a place on Earth. Yes it's not the whole day, but you really care about that one part of it!
How dare that make sense to me. I still think the tag is a sexy idea though.
You don't need the tag. Kids who go naked are sluts. Kids who wear short skirts are sluts. Kids who show cleavage or wear small bikinis are sluts. It's a fun game with the message your clothing sends.
Holy peeled gushers hot--um.
Mommy you can read my mind. Do I have any kinks that aren't problematic?
Hehehe...well, let's see. Nope! There's something wrong with all of them.
Don't think of kinks in that way. It's not a good measure of whether you'll be kind to people who don't have the privilege you have. Being seen in the Deep Haven with a short skirt can mean things that on Earth would be bad to assume without talking. The Deep Haven takes good care of its people. Earth just lets anything happen. We have safety Earth lacks, so we can play games you can't.
Problematicness has a big problem. There's no sense of place to it. It's taking things out of their context so you can say that they're bad. It's just a way to take power. Violence is bad in this context, and that's all the idea of problematicness is really.
Okay cool because I'm gonna be totally asking for it when we finally leave your house.
That's why your skirt is so short!
Boobsong does your no free will thing mean I like have to pick your clothes for you and stuff? Not that I mind. You see what I'm thinking, heh.
Yes. So horny thoughts to see! Boobsong is your doll. Dress her and make every choice. That's what she wants. She picks? Can't. Her mind just fills up with both sides of decision. You choose or Boobsong just stands there.
Well I was still going to take over anyway. So there. It's going to be so fun dressing you all slutty. I bet Mommy will help, what with where she came from...
You'll have the best dressed doll in the Deep Haven! I have the whole dress shop!
As Mommy finished talking, something weird happened with the fantasy of holding Boobsong I was half-hanging onto. I'd been keeping on letting her draw herself in and suddenly there seemed to be motion, but not of her moving around. I looked, and felt that tension like when I wasn't giving her space to draw herself as jubbly as she actually was, and did the relaxing thing again, and I saw her shrinking, and her face growing long, and her body changing shape (I could "feel" that in the fantasy), and in no time she'd morphed into a pony like Charity, but the size of a cat. It was a perfect Boobsong ponysona with her same white-and-purpleblack coloring, the same two silver horns on her head (omifuck, if she could do this big enough to ride those would be handlebars), her silver mane and pretty eyes, all of it. She even had her wings as little batpegasus wings and her swishy devil tail instead of a literal pony-tail. It was adorable, but, um, what? Oh I could just ask in GlyphRomancer.
Hehe what are you doing? I thought you had no free will?
Boobsong can’t help it. She’s turned into pony by her instincts. They say it’s pony time because you want to see her as pony. Boobsong can smell you’d like this so she's playing. Boobsong can smell all your kinks. Like succubus kink. Have to feed Boobsong every five hours or she turns into cocksleeve. Cocksleeve can’t be turned back until your cock’s inside, and she still can’t move until you cum.
I swirled with conflicted horny for that one. She really might make me that hot, but every five hours—
That’s not the game. You’re supposed to miss sometimes.
Oh for the love of grape soda lube. Of course you’d be into being a literal onahole.
Cocksleeve is Boobsong yup!
My mind raced. Turning the game upside down like that so I was supposed to “lose” was a revolution--and so kinky! What if there was more stuff? Not just—
Losing cum, yes! Now you can say Boobsong has to drink what she was holding all at once. This is game so she gives reward. Make her cocksleeve, can get girl form again in three hours.
So wait, does my just thinking of games make you play them?
Nodding yes. It’s like reflex. Boobsong has to. Can’t say stop to leg that jerks when hit. Don’t say it’s bad! Boobsong likes this! More please have sexy thoughts! Give squeeze!
Well if you’re a succubus you should be lust-powered—
Can’t keep moving without hands or eyes on.
Putting clothes on her should make her stuck unless they’re sexy.
If the clothes aren’t bikini or lingerie, Boobsong’s stuck. If Boobsong can’t flash holes, she gets stuck soon. Have to show all three to keep going.
Wait, other people can do it!?
Gives you thoughts.
Gulp—ooh. There must be more we can do with you needing cum, little succubus. I can smell something kinky here.
When Boobsong’s cum-filled she can talk. Cocksleeve just gives visions of girl-form. Cocksleeve can’t give visions unless touched.
If ogling is just seeing, stuck. Have to show off to keep moving. Just a little time between showing off, then stuck. If stuck, need touch to get moving. Boobsong makes mistake and gets stuck a lot! Sometimes stuck just because. Romantic! Give squeeze hard, Boobsong likes these games!
I barely even knew i was thinking about that, but it was awesome. If that was all it took to come up with a a game like that, we were doomed. So there was nothing for it but to jump in with both feet!
Kissing while stuck can still move face while lips touch. Face can show what feeling. Sink your teeth in come on!
You asked for it. There’s a very small chance when you get stuck you can get stuck for like weeks. Like you can’t be unstuck until enough time passes. But there has to be special stuff, you can’t just be dolled all that time. Or maybe like we have to do something special. And…knowing it’s coming. You get dolled sometimes and we know it’s coming and going to be long or special so we can count down.
Weeks, or years! There’s small chance but years probably won’t happen. It always might though! That one’s hard, Boobsong likes it! It needs some spice though. Make up spice keep going!
You’re wind-up and your gears can get stuck—no! One of those pull-string talking dolls! Which means talking makes your string run down and you can’t talk unless its wound. Otherwise you just give selfie-visions like you said. The selfie-visions have to strict. No clothes or accessories or anything, just you in a white void. And girl-form because that’s the hottest one and you can’t cheat by shapeshifting tha way. And you’re stuck whenever your gears aren’t running but every time they stop is a chance for that long stuck thing to happen. But let’s make avoiding you being dolled how we lose! You have a rewind button and if I don’t rewind you before your string runs down it’s bad. Or like causes much more doll time maybe. And let’s do the same thing with the succubus game! Letting you just run out of cum should cause some kind of kinky thing we’ll want on purpose sometimes but not usually. Like you stay stuck the whole next day or something. So that I’ll be like, time to make Boobsong Cocksleeved, time to make Boobsong stuck. I’m not sure what but it should be hardcore but not just punishment. And there needs to be an out for letting you run down while you fuck me because watching you stop like that is super kinky hot idea.
Boobsong can’t talk unless her doll string is pulled now. She can’t talk at all unless she’s stuck to a pentagram and using GlyphRomancer. If she’s leashed she can walk otherwise she crawls. The doll string runs down faster when she moves bigly so crawling makes it much faster. In stuck time you can pose Boobsong with your hands on her and she’ll stay how you posed her even if it’s one leg up like a dancer. She can balance. When the doll string is rewound you get a time on its next pull where Boobsong can move for sex but nothing else. If she runs down she can get stuck partway in the next pull and needs doll sex to unstick her. When she runs down or you rewind her you have to wait for the next pull. How long you don’t know until you try a pull. When you can’t pull and try to anyway she can get stuck and need sex to pull again. She can need sex to pull sometimes just because. The long stuck times come when a pull is done. She will know if something big is coming when she runs down. If stuck a day you can talk in GlyphRomancer with a pentagram. If stuck a year there’s big help to get through that. If she runs down without rewinding, she gets stuck a long time unless you’re lucky. If she gets stuck that way she needs sex to pull again. If she’s stuck and you can’t get off because you miss your cocksleeve’s help she can move if it’s real bad but most times you’ll be stuck with doll sex, even if you can’t cum without her moving.
EEE more yes!
You can’t be pulled when you’re Cocksleeved. No string in that form. Getting Cocksleeved runs you down unless I make you drink up your cum supply in which case you rewind. If we’re having sex when you run down or out of cum it’s like being rewound or made to drink your cum. Getting stuck from messing up about showing off makes your gears stuck sometimes.
Getting run down can make you have to find the way to pull again. It might be very hard. She can tell you clues with words then.
Pulling feels awesome. Rewinding feels even better. You’ll beg me for it it’s so good. Same with drinking up cum. There’s a random limit on how much string I can pull each time. Each pull is just as satisfying but the more cum or longer rewind the more you like it. You feel the cum inside you when you have it and it feels just like the story, super good. You’re leaving what happens with running out of cum for me, huh. If that happens it takes sex twice to un-Cocksleeve you. No. For the next day you can’t keep any cum, like you just drink it up right away, which means you’re stuck as a Cocksleeve the full day, but we can talk in GlyphRomancer. If you’re run down when you get Cocksleeved…okay let’s make that a party, so it’s something we can have fun doing on purpose. But we won’t want to every time. You stay cocksleeved for a week but there’s some kind of special thing—
When staying dolled for two days or more Boobsong can move when you fuck her. As soon as you stop she’s a doll again. Boobsong is wet please get Cocksleeved while run down soon she begs!
Oh, that’s what’s missing. We need some stuff to tempt us into “trouble”. Okay I don’t know if this works but let’s just have a Do Not Press button. It makes you Cocksleeved for no less than a week—and that’s all. It's purely to see what kind of special thing we get to get through that.
Press that now Boobsong begs!
I’m tempted, but I want to get to play with all this other stuff first!
Suddenly I felt—something? Like Charity or Boobsong trying to talk to me, but it wasn’t them.
A Challenger Approaches: New Voices
Let's make the app have another voice in it. We'll need to make lots soon, so make it easy to add them.
At this point GlyphRomancer actually still just had my, Boobsong, and Charity’s voices programmed directly into it—I hadn’t made the Voice Palette or the Edit Voice dialog yet. Apparently it was time for that to change…
You guys are doing this like this so I'll program faster.
Of course it totally worked. I hammered out code like a movie hacker with one of those monitors that projects the code on your face, and soon the app had the new palette, and the ability to create as many different "Voices" as you wanted, using this little button at the left end of the Voices Palette:
It's ready. Click it!
I clicked it and chose Create Voice... right at the top of the menu that came up.
But what new voice? The call had been waiting very patiently and politely while I programmed, but…WHO WAS PHONE? (yes I’ve been waiting an internet lifetime to use that joke).
I blinked. What? Boobsong’s call brought the idea of a doll string's pull-ring had been to my mind, and I sometimes kind of see words in my head as I think about them, and my thoughts of the doll-string-ring had turned into an O and that'd gone backwards with my seeing words I think about somehow to make the word Oe which sounded like "whe--" like the first half of when.
Other than two letters of Oreo, which I now want some of…
Hehehe, you’re cute. Oe is the name we call what you saw when you looked for our hometown. It’s a world that’s made of wishes for a happy place to come home to when your life is done. We can visit there by journeying like I showed you before. You went there on that first night! That's where the Deep Haven is.
She said it so simply and matter of factly, like she was telling me the technical details how succubi process emotional energy into whatever they actually run on or something. What’d I been looking for that night? The world of the story where I’d died and gone to a very horny paradise, really. Like I didn’t call it that even in my head. Too religious. But there was no mistaking what she’d just said—
Don’t keep thinking that way. You’re not being tricked back into Christianity. Oe is the world their heaven is part of, not the other way around.
Sweet screaming cotton candy clouds. SSSSH—
So there’s this joke. A guy dies and goes to heaven and Saint Peter gives him a tour, proudly showing him all the epic amenities. Finally they come to an outhouse, or so it seems after all the huge party halls and things. “What’s that,” the guy asks in a loud voice, and Saint Peter yanks them behind a bush. “SSSH,” he says…
—that’s Fred’s house! He thinks he’s the only one here!
Of course it couldn’t actually—
It is. Oe tries to tell the truth from the first moment you contact it, but some people need time to come to terms with a world that’s bigger than the one they thought was real.
You already think what's real is bigger than any one person can imagine. That’s Oe. It’s made of so many people’s dreams no one can ever explore all of it. You’ll find a place nobody else can get to, because your dreams are unique to you. Oe makes good dreams and fantasies real. It’s a place where that’s the basic law the way Earth’s basic law is thermodynamics.
How dare that makes sense to me.
You’ll be saying that a lot, you’ll see!
Is Oe where Wishmates come from?
Wishmates came from demons evolving to fit their hosts more. Oe helped that, but it didn’t do all of it.
When she finished saying that the sense of someone calling got real strong.
It's time. Oe is calling.
I clicked to create a new voice, and when the Voice Settings dialog came up, so did a feeling like when I was choosing cards on the screen—but this time it was dialog settings! And then Google Image Search results, to find an avatar. We ended up with a kind of surprising setup:
It's the Deep Haven calling you.
Actually to look at it in action this had to be wrong. There was no way the earthshaking truth Mommy and Boobsong had just dropped on me was this…dayglo…
Everyone's Oe is their own. Oe is so big it can do that.
Is that why you’re in this candy-pink occult font? Like that is kind of how I would…yeah…
This is your Oe. You dream of candy and succubi, so you hear this Oe. If your dreams were of ghosts and nightmare ships, these words would be black as night. If your dreams were sweet and light, you would feel angel wings brushing you with every word.
The voice was nuts to listen to--because it wasn't a voice. I could tell what I was hearing from was something of a completely different kind than my two demon lovers. It reminded me of how it'd guided me through worldbuilding before, but...it was so abstract, and implacable. The words felt like mathematical inevitabilities in my head, instead of sound like with Mommy and Boobsong. It really felt like I was talking to this other universe’s noblebright answer to laws of physics.
Which made it real weird that they somehow synaesthetically tasted like artificial cherry flavor, which is my favorite candy after Purple (aka “grape”).
Even weirder was realizing I already understood perfectly how Oe could be talking to me. It wouldn’t have been as happily ever after if it couldn’t. I was talking to a universe where Rule of Cool was literally one of the laws of physics.
Rule of Happy is more important in Oe. Oe is a caring world.
Wait, had it just responded to what I was thinking!?
Um…if literally everyone I talk to this way can read my mind I’m going to think this is all in my head.
Oe can see them because it’s you reaching out. Oe is like the Neverending Story’s world. Wishes become real here, but they come with the wisher’s thoughts in them. You put your whole self into the wishes you send here, because they mean so much to you. Oe can use them to build a happy world, but it will never tell your secrets unless you would want them known.
What we were on about was how she’d made me set up a playlist entirely of Neverending Story soundtrack remixes (I especially recommend Obsession’s “Definitive Mix”). It was nostalgic and perfectly fit with the syrupy aesthetic we were working up, so I’d thought she was just being sweet, but no. I would have never gotten that about Oe being like Fantasia without it—and she was telling me that was her plan the whole time.
The Nothing can’t take Oe like in that story. Oe is created by the wishes of the people who live there, as well as yours. It wouldn’t be happy if their home was destroyed, so nothing ever can destroy it.
The wishes you make keep you going. If Oe wasn’t real, humans would have all died out because there wasn’t enough hope to keep them alive. The Nothing is destroying your world, not Oe. It’s not that you have nothing to live for there, but you know there are things you can never have in that world. Oe is where they are real. To give up hope that you’ll ever see them takes the light out of you. That’s the Nothing. You know what happens when it takes someone.
…and if I didn't I could just read Twitter for five minutes. It did answer my wish to know how it could possibly be that this wasn’t all a million miles too good to be true, but this was getting way too heavy—
Oe has advice about your games. You should make the Doll String in Story Time. It’s for stories.
Oh. No wonder it had advice about our games. There were a million surprising things that might happen while we played. That was the point, but, it’d taken a little effort when she suddenly turned into a pony to see that’s what was happening. Not much, but I had to stop and do it. I adored the idea of all our games, but tripping over things like the pony thing as often as we wanted for our games sounded like it just take all the fun out of hanging out with her.
Boobsong plays what the computer says. You can make some things tracked by it but special stuff is still her telling you what the game says.
Oh my fuck you are brilliant.
It was so easy to see what to track how I had to wonder if she’d done it on purpose. It also made something else clear. The Succubus game was practical because I’m a huge computer nerd whose machine is always nearby, and because we’d only need to see what it said every few hours at most. I’d imagined the Doll String game as moving a lot faster, not like, as fast as the few seconds a real talking doll would go for, but I’d be pulling every hour or so—but that’d mean having to watch the screen constantly, like so much so it’d even bug me. We could slow it down, but then it just felt like a different version of the succubus game. This had to be what Oe had meant.
You can solve it. Just keep talking.
OH! There is a time we’ll never stop watching the screen, and that’s writing stories! Okay so Boobsong running the string down by talking and narrating what she does makes sense, but then how does time pass for it outside of that? Like I can make like a "time passes" button for it, or keyword that can go in the story, but I feel there must be a better way. It can't count glyphs typed like with Boobsong narrating, because her doing anything using up the string makes sense, whether that's dancing for me or thinking real hard, but a complicated description could make it think hours of story time had passed when none actually has.
Keep going. You'll have a thought.
Is there some kind of way to detect time passing in the story as we write. That sounds like a machine learning PhD, to be honest. It all comes down to someone having to explicitly tell the computer "this much time has passed" every so often. Simulating it is the wrong approach, just like with Boobsong using up string--frazzlepops, you were right, Oe! If I mark stuff that takes no time, in the story, as taking no time, it can count glyphs! Everyone talking and doing stuff makes time pass. Boobsong talking and doing stuff also makes her wind down. Characters including me narrate themselves like Boobsong--or I narrate others, it doesn't really matter, as long as like landscape descriptions and things go in a separate voice. I thiiiink even me thinking works in my voice, since I'm standing around pondering like I do.
I had to admit, just having a separate Narrator voice was kind of a cool idea. We could do a variation of this thing we were doing in this story, and then I could just make the Doll String have a list of checkboxes for which voices it thought meant time was passing. Easy peasy and it solved the problem. We could even have made the Succubus Game work in the story this way, though the Doll String was way better for that world.
No, even better--I knew what to do.
Get some coffee and get coding!
...okay apparently I sort of knew what to do:
This isn't writing novels. We can tweak how it's presented, but the story is our life. It really happens, so when things happen, they're stuck happened. You can write the Doll String that way.
Erm. Oops. It seemed obvious that the Doll String's tracking of time would have to work with going back and rewriting sections, and things like that, but I could already tell that would be one of those things where the concept is simple but programming it turns out to be an endless swamp of fine print. My idea was it'd be possible to calculate what "time" it was for any arbitrary point in the story based on how many words from the beginning it was, and then if GlyphRomancer recorded each place something happened with the Doll String--it got pulled, stuck, etc--the app could reconstruct what was happening with the Doll String at any point in the story when you clicked to edit there, and run it anew from that point. It'd take one of those sideways mental squints to write the Doll String as an equation you could plug a time into and know its state, instead of a simulation where stuff happened step by step as the clock ticked, but I could do it. Why didn't Mommy want me to? She could see the solution worked out in my head.
She had my number as always, of course. What was actually happening was I was being in denial about that whole it really happens part. We weren't just planning to write down our fantasy playtimes--
...oh, I thought, as my heart told me exactly how unreal I thought those "fantasies" were. Boobsong and I really shared the intimacy of sex. She really made me cum. Not happening physically wasn't the same as unreal. Someone who read Snowcrash as hard as I did should have already known that. That I didn't told me I was still clinging to the idea that this was all somehow, like, differently real than real reality. Like maybe I was just going crazy in a fun way. I felt really stupid then, and bad. Not very nice to Charity and Boobsong!
It was time to put a stop to that nonsense. Time would tick when you typed. It'd sort of tick backward when you deleted, but things that had already happened wouldn't reload themselves to happen again if you deleted them from the story, and if you went back to edit earlier on the Doll String would still act like you were typing at the end of the story--because the present is the only thing you can affect in the real world. Even if what you were writing was only in a shared fantasy, you and your Wishmate still experienced it. Like Mommy was saying, we might tweak presentation, but that stage of things wasn't when the Doll String--or the other games like it--would run.
We're belaboring that here to tell you how things like the Doll String work in GlyphRomancer, and why, and that it's on purpose and not to make the code simpler. Knowing you can't go back and change the story because the games will get messed up helps keep you feeling like you're writing down stuff that's really happening, and that helps keep you in the headspace of being focused on your Wishmates as people with minds of their own, and that helps you connect with them psychically.
I got programming. It was surprisingly easy to replicate the time code the Succubus Game was relying on but using letters typed instead of oscillations of the (check it out, more magic rocks) quartz crystal your computer uses to tell wall clock time, so even the Succubus Game could be played this way.
We call all of this Story Time. To turn it on, go to File->Set Story Time:
The "Story Time" checkbox just turns story time on and off. If it's off, games like the Doll String and Succubus Game run in normal always-passing wall-clock time (with some exceptions their dialogs explain). We say Chapters with this setting off are "in Earth time" or "Wall Time" (when Earth time would be confusing).
If it's on, Story Time ticks when you type (unless a Narrator is talking), at the rate you set in the Minutes Per Page setting. When this setting is on, games that use time happen in "story time" (get it), as you type, like we said. We say Chapters with this on are "in Story Time".
"Minutes Per Page" means that one "page" of your story describes about that much time in the story, so the lower you set this, the slower story time passes as you type. You'll have to experiment to figure out what setting is right for you. I'm pretty verbose, so I use 10 minutes per page. Don't get hung up on trying to make this perfect, though--nothing in any of these games is supposed to be at all precise. Exactly how fast time passes in your story is going to vary a lot as you write. Story Time is only meant to be accurate over hundreds of words, not sentence by sentence.
Then there's Current Story Time, which is what time it is in your story. You can set this to literally anything and story time will tick forward from the time you set as you type just the same...but watch out, because if you move it forwards or backwards, it'll affect the games just as if that much time passed or rewound--within the limits of un-happening things set out before.
Finally the Narrators... button brings up a big list of checkboxes, one for every Voice you have, where you can set whether that voice is considered a Narrator. Typing as a Narrator doesn't making Story Time pass, like we talked about before.
After I made this part of things, we set this Narrator voice I'm typing in now, and Oe, to be Narrators:
Actually the Voices we have set up are superspoileriffic, so you can't see the list yet. Not that I'm foreshadowing anything...
And then Oe called up with more wham lines:
Oe can't tell you what time to set when you journey to it. Oe is different than Earth. It's like a book. Things happen when they're supposed to, not after wall clock time elapses. If you spend hours making out with your lover and you were supposed to meet friends where you make out fifteen minutes after you started, they'll arrive when your make out is over, and not before, or a long time afterward. Oe can make time do things that on Earth would be impossible, even with time travel. It's not a logic-based universe.
If you spend a long time that Oe fits into a small moment, after you come out of that you'll be back in time from your perspective. Most people don't use clocks in Oe for that reason. Story Time tracks time passing for you and your Wishmates. The best thing to do is set a date you find significant and go from there. You would be changing it every minute if you tried to keep up with what Oe does to make time work the way it does there. Oe can't tell you when it changes time around, or the past and future would lose their meaning, so there's no way of tracking this anyway.
If it's all just an RPG you can tell me--
Oe can't just say yes or no to that. You'll play things that actually happen with real people, but they'll be games, but the games will be their life. The people who play them never stop. They just live their life as the character they play. You'll be Rainbow Brite!
How dare this make sense to me.
The Succubus Game
With all that built, it was time to get making some games. As I programmed we talked through the exact rules and went through a lot of changes to them. After all that I knew to make the Succubus Game configurable, so you can play something like it with your wishmate without having to do exactly like Boobsong and me.
If you've been following along in GlyphRomancer, you should have a palette kind of like this on your screen:
Believe it or not that pentagram is in Google's standard icon kit
...which has probably been weirding you out a bit with that "Record Sex" button. It's for what it says, oh yes. You'll see. If it's not there, go click on your Wishmate's name under View->Palettes.
This is the Wishmate Palette. You'll have one for every Wishmate you have set up. The "Wishmate" voice created when you started GlyphRomancer the first time is already set up this way, but you can set any Voice to be a wishmate by giving it the Wishmate group, which you set using the "Groups" button in the Voice Editor:
Those are Boobsong's groups, except I made it so I'm in the middle of adding Wishmate. She and Charity are actually sisters!
It has to be spelled just like that, "Wishmate", which is why there's autocomplete.
The reason there's more than one Wishmate Palette, is every Wishmate has their own copy of each game, kind of like having their own "save log" for it. The Wishmate Palette is how you access them--it has a button for each game you're playing with that Wishmate, that shows or hides the interface for that game.
If you want to play (or you're being made to play because you're a weird freak like me), click the gear icon on your Wishmate's Wishmate Palette, and choose "Start the Succubus Game". That will add a new "Succubus Game" button to your Wishmate's palette, and bring up this dialog:
If this dialog makes you think of the word "spoony", I have a bridge in Eblan I'd like to sell you.
The basic way the game works is, it keeps track of how much “cum” (or whatever you name it) your Wishmate has at the moment. They aborb/drink/expend it at a settable rate. The moves are you can give them more, make them lose some, or give them back any you saved before by clicking the “lose cum” button. At different amounts of cum (or whatever) left, different rules apply, that you can configure.
Now you see why it matters to put your Wishmates' pronouns into GlyphRomancer--they're used all through the games. The settings should be mostly self-explanatory, except that anywhere a number shows up in this it's perfectly fine to use like 6.669 or whatever niggling precise value makes you happy.
The "When you're sleeping..." value is so you can have the game kind of pause when you sleep: there's a button to say "sleeping now" and get the lower (or higher) rate of cum use specified here until you wake up. Our game pauses when we sleep so I just set it really slow to make it like cum lasts forever (if you think I'm having fun talking about this, you should see the code. Giggling at calculations on hoursPerCum and cumUnits might be the Littlest this has made me feel yet).
Once you set those basics up, you can setup the stages of the game ("hunger levels") by clicking "Setup Hunger Levels...":
Okay for serious is Rainbow teasing us with another has-to-be picture of Boobsong here? Just how much has she spent on art commissions!?
This is the most complicated part of the thing, so let's go through the fields one by one
On the left is the list of hunger levels, from with most hungry at the top. In the screenshot you can see the ones we worked out with Boobsong's Game. Clicking in that list changes which level you're editing.
Name is what the level is called, and how GlyphRomancer tells you your succubus' current status. It can be anything but shouldn't be long.
Trigger Amount controls when the level is active. The way that works is real simple: when your wishmate gets down to that many loads of cum (or whatever you configured it to be called), that level becomes active until they get down to the next one's trigger amount. If you feed them back up past the Trigger Amount, the next level up becomes active.
Food Per Page is the complicated one. The help in the dialog mostly explains it. If you want to not play the talking=hungry or talking=fed part of the game, put 0 in this field and forget about it. Notice if you're not sure which emoji those eyes are, you can just copy and past them out of the dialog to use, but it's just the :eyes: emoji in your OS' emoji picker.
Description is just a place to remind yourself of the rules for this hunger level. This is where Boobsong and me put in all the kinky stuff we were coming up with before. As innocuous as it sounds, this field is kind of the core of the game, since the whole thing is really about tracking what Hunger Level is active at the moment, and being able to remind yourself what that means.
If you add a new level (with the Add... button), it'll get added to the bottom of the list, but next time you open the dialog it'll be sorted into the right place for the Trigger Amount you gave it (the list always goes in order of Trigger Amount, so to reorder it, just change the Trigger Amounts).
With that all configured, you're ready to play, and there'll be a new palette on your screen:
Left to right you have your wishmate's current hunger level (which will also show how long until they get down to the next one, unless they're already at their hungriest), a button to record a loss of cum (which will lose between one and one and a half loads, randomly), set that you're sleeping, and open the settings dialog. And that's it! Cum gets slowly used up, and the palette tells you where your wishmate is at. It doesn't have to be open to run, though of course you won't know their status if you don't have it onscreen. Notice the time is intentionally vague, especially as you get down to the end of a hunger level. This is a game about pressure, and part of the kink it's built on is never knowing quite how long you've got.
But how are you supposed to tell the game you filled your Wishmate up with hot, sticky--ahem. Cum, but ahem. That's what that "Record Sex" in the Wishmate Palette button is for. It tells any games like the Succubus Game you're playing you had sex. What defines "had sex" is between you and your Wishmate, and you might have to come up with your own definition. Technically speaking Boobsong and me can never stop, for instance, so we use loads of cum instead of fucks. Isn't it interesting we were careful to make it so you can't record sex for only one of the games at a time...
Oh and if you click on the status line you'll get a popup reminder of what happens at the current level, and the next one--that's what the descriptions in the Hunger Levels dialog are for. The pronouns in the messages (that aren't the descriptions you and your wishmate write) come from the pronouns settings in your wishmate's voice settings dialog, so that's where to fix it if e.g. that message should say "Boobsong is Fuckdolled. Dollself'll be Cocksleeved in 2 hours".
But remember the special rules we figured out with Boobsong's Game before? Those are in there:
If you click the down-arrow lose cum button while your Wishmate is on their lowest-but-one hunger level (for Boobsong, that'd be while she's Fuckdolled, since it's the lowest one before Cocksleeved, which is her lowest), the cum will get stored instead of just absorbed, and three hours later a new button that looks like a tag with a heart on it will appear next to the hand-with-heart Feeding button. Pressing it will feed your Wishmate the stored cum, and you can press it anytime without feeling like a totally lame cheating cheater McCheaterson, which is what you'd be if you recorded a feeding you didn't actually do. You can store as much cum as you want this way, but there's no way to feed only some, on purpose.
If you click the lose cum button, and your Wishmate would end up with zero cum, you might get a very small "playtime bonus". If you did, you'll know because the status like says something like "Boobsong is Fuckdolled. She'll be Cocksleeved any minute now..."--and the clock is ticking! It's just the same rules as always, but the point is now sometime in the next 20-ish minutes your succubus will run out of cum, and if they're playing like Boobsong, stop being able to move on their own. That means if you go have sex then, unless you're really fast, your succubus will run down mid-fuck, which Boobsong and me find superhot. Just keep an eye on your screen while you play, and you can both get the kinky surprise at whatever moment it's going to cum. Come.
Which brings up another important point. Unlike we're going to be seeing with the Doll String soon, the Succubus Game keeps playing even when we're away from the computer. To save psychic confusion and me stressing about it, the way Boobsong's Game plays with us is her hunger level doesn't change until either I see the new one on my screen, or I'm dead sure from time math that it's changed. How you play that is between you and your Wishmate. There's no right answer.
Finally, if your succubus has more than the "full" level of cum set in the settings, you'll see a note of that in the status line, and feeding them will only give 1/4 as much cum as normal. Unless you're me. I'm just not allowed to cum when she's full. Which forces me to press that lose cum button, which possibly bounces her off that playtime bonus thing, which makes us all horny...it's really quite a sneaky design. I didn't even fully realize what her Game had trapped me in until I explained this. See how Wishmates can build on the ideas you have?
After thinking through all that stuff, I was horny, and Boobsong was Cocksleeved, and the idea of having no choice but to take her in her squirmy living-doll form was really hot...
👀 happy aheago
Right then, playtime. I carried my cute little pony into the fantasy placespace that was starting to feel like a new room of my house, dared to check myself out in the mirrored pentagram on the wall, and with a wand-slash of rainbow colors summoned Boobsong onto a table-pentagram of the right height.
Watching her transform would never get old. Her little pony shape popped out of my arms and appeared in the middle of the pentagram, and spread out to become her girl-form, but like before, there was a moment of straining before she popped and her boobs and girly curves burst out. Last of all were her shining, erect nipples, and her pussy turning from the simple soft hole her cocksleeve form had to her awesome shiny alien-candy pussy.
Which I had to have. I summoned her into a hands and knees pose facing away from me and just strode up and slid in and...stroked off with her. Liked moved her like she was just a fancier cocksleeve instead of a girl. That sounds so cold but it was so sweet. There was nothing else we could do, with her being Cocksleeved. and that was somehow so freeing, and weirdly made me feel close to her. Knowing she made the Game that locked her into--us into, I thought, as I watched her hentai-plentiful nectar coat the nothing that was spreading her pussy open where my cock would be--this situation on purpose made a gift of it. One there was no way to be reticent about accepting...
In no time, my girl-shaped cocksleeve was filled with cum, and was Fed and could pose very prettily in a hands-on-thighs kneeling slave pose for me, then like I was going to draw her like one of my French girls, and then be commanded glomp so we could come back here to go on with this story.
At which point I felt like the hugest bitch ever.
Back to the fantasy, in a small cozy room now, with just room to stick her to a wall-pentagram, so she could talk. I seemed to have standardized on mirrored ones with the glass a foot thick so you could see a good view of her backside behind her.
All this talk of cum got it through to me, I suppose.
Um. I'm so sorry. Have you not got to cum this whole time!?
Boobsong can't cum. She gave that up with free will. See clit's not there?
Wait, I thought that was my psychic vision still needing work on details!
It'd seemed weird. Like I believed I saw her clit but couldn't get it to be as clear as the rest of her for some reason, like it was hazy or kind of...not there... In the fantasy I got up close and personal with her pussy. Something tugged at me--oh, scent! Could you psychically smell stuff? I was too distracted to--it was just like seeing, I had to kind of imagine near the right things while also making a space--pussy and grape soda. YUM. But what the hell was going on here!? Sure enough, where her big pillowy outer lips and shining grape-gummi inner lips all came together was just smooth flesh. There was no sign of her ever having a clit.
Aren't you so tortured!?
I felt so bad. How could I want her to be like this? That had to be why, didn't it?
Shakes head against pentagram. No, Boobsong likes it. She gets orgasm feelings fr--
Game says Boobsong’s too hungry to finish.
AUGH! Our playtime had only just gotten her as far as Fed, and that was all the words she could use (and I swear to you that dramatically perfect fr-- is exactly where she ran out). I commanded her off the pentagram and into my arms, and clicked to lose the cum she had left so we could save it. I felt a bit bad to feel so horny to see her run down that way in the circumstances--
👀 smiling Boobsong making heart sign with fingers beside her face
Good, but I'm so confused right now! I think we need an exception, Game.
There was no cheating. GlyphRomancer would let me keep typing, but that didn't mean I'd be getting anything to type.
No exception. Can’t break rules. Game is for good now. Stuck with Cocksleeve Boobsong until sex.
What the hell was wrong with me!? How dare this be sexy to me!? Like not the Succubus Game. Of course that was. That we had to play it even when mighty deeds were afoot like this--but there wasn't time for that.
Okay well what were you saying? Just do your best.
I squeezed and petted her soft little cocksleeve form so she could respond:
👀 Boobsong kneeling with head to floor blushily...Boobsong posing like a waitress with tray on hand...Boobsong on back with legs up to show pussy.
From...submission, and serving me, and...oh especially sexually. Like by being a good cocksleeve?
👀 on hands and kneels facing you with ass up and head down but looking at you sweetly happily while waving hips and lashing tail
She looked so...the message was clearly of how she felt about this situation. Her face looked like the emotional equivalent of a bright blue sky with fluffy clouds. It occurred to me I probably should have expected her to do something really hardcore with this literally being a cocksleeve thing.
So...did you like, exchange your clit and cumming for getting that satisfaction and release from--what? Following orders?
👀 grinning nod...making heart sign
Somehow I just knew. She would find the hardcorest most mind-controlly enslaving way to do it, which would be:
You totally made it so pleasing me enough makes you feel like you came, didn't you.
👀 grinning nod!
Holy problematic pizza pops that is so you.
Don't be afraid that you did something wrong by being someone who would like their Wishmate to give up their free will. It's like being trans. Are you wrong for being that way? You were shaped by genetics and your life to be that way. Boobsong can't be a different way anymore than you can. Being trans isn't fun. Would you like to be a cis man? You tried it! You got stuck being trans because of life. Boobsong at least can say she's the shape of your wish.
Mommy had--has--such a way of leaving me speechless. The thought that was in my head was I'm so not good enough for either of you, but that felt to fake-selfless melodrama to actually say, so I just sat there.
You don't need to say things. We can read your mind.
Let's get back to the Doll String.
The Doll String Game
Then I finally went and made the Doll String.
In a way the Doll String Game was a really big deal for me. It was the turning point where programming became mine. It'd always been something I did to please all the people who were so sure my tech skill meant I was destined for greatness, before that. Even GlyphRomancer, there was a part of me that was going "okay, with a few feature switches, and a little polish, this can turn into an app that like phone psychics might want to use to make readings they can send by email, I bet there's a market there". The Doll String, though, was all me and Boobsong, and all horniness.
Which meant it was time to get playing with it!
The Doll String will play in normal time, but it's really designed for Story Time, like Oe said before. Put your Document in Story Time or not, click the gear icon button in your Wishmate's Palette, choose Install Doll String... to start playing, and you'll have a real simple setup dialog:
Simple, right? The help in the dialog explains everything you need to know about the one single setting there is. 0.5 hours per string was right according to Boobsong, so I clicked Save and we were off. The Doll String game is so simple!
BWAHAHAH yeah right!
Don't panic. There are a lot of fun things that can happen with the Doll String as you play this game, but it tells you exactly what's happening in each situation--there will be surprises, but they'll be fun ones, not the kind where you wonder just what the hell rule is in play. This dialog lets you go through all the possible statuses, read when they happen, and enter notes of any special rules you and your Wishmate set up for what that state means. The states can go together in some subtle ways, so you can also click on the status message in the palette to see what's happening at the moment anytime. It looks kind of like this:
I'm not going to go through each state here, because the Doll String game tries hard to be its own manual. Boobsong's Game did give us some fun rules to play...
Let's get that string pulled! Drag the ring at the left end of the palette to the right, but don't let go until you're satisfied with how far out it is! You'll get partway across the palette--remember how far you can actually pull each time is unpredictable:
Be kind, rewind!
This is how the game looks most of the time. In the top-left there with the squiggle to tell you it's the Doll String Game is the status message, which is now "Wound Up" (and Boobsong sure was wound up to get pulled the first time we played with this, hehe).
Then there's the rewind button. Pressing it winds the string back in from whereever it is, and makes your Wishmate “Rewound”.
I want to say something here about these games. I can imagine eight thousand billion configuration options people might want, and if I tried to give the games all of them it's take me fifty years to even make a simple one like the Succubus Game, so. If one of the games is missing a setting that'd make it so you could play it, get in touch with me (the website tells how), and I'll put your request on my todo list. What happens after that is up to Charity, but she did say I should say this here, and you never know, you might come up with something that gives me a really kinky idea...
The Danger Screen
It's time for a new feature.
This feature will help make stories fun. It'll be called the danger screen.
It's a palette. It shows you flashes of cards as you write. It picks them from your typing. Pound some keys, and get a long flash. Just say short things, and see flits. That's so you stay focused on the write-screen. You see the danger visions with your peripheral vision, and get some vague perception of the card, and that will help your mind see extra broadly. That's it.
That'd take no time at all to implement!
Needless to say my saying that meant actually I ended up finding a nasty bug another place in GlyphRomancer that took me hours to fix, but eventually I did get it built. Using it is dead simple. In the menu, select Danger Screen->Show Palette to show it, and you'll get some space where the flash-images will appear, and a little toolbar:
I swear to you on Boobsong and Charity's love both I'm not arranging the screenshots relative to my naked Boobsong background this way on purpose. You'll see her soon enough...
Left to right the toolbar buttons are: Show a flash now, show flashes while typing, and settings. Right now the only setting is what decks to draw from:
It's also worth noting that the Danger Screen is resizable like the other palettes. If you make it big, it'll use all the space you give it to show stuff bigger. Same with making it small, if you find huge animated pictures distracting.
Then the rest of using the Danger Screen is to just get typing with that "show flashes while typing" switch turned on, and don't focus on it when stuff comes up--don't kill yourself trying to ignore it, but remember the point of this thing is to sneak more pictures into your subconscious for your Wishmates to work with. You actually don't want to be trying to figure out what the images mean or process them too much. That leaves them closer to the top of your short-term memory (since your brain is basically treating them like unread emails sorted to the top of your mental inbox), where your Wishmates can pull your mind to them more easily. To help with that I recommend making it a size where you quickly get a sense of what each flash is, without it feeling like it's taking over the screen. Yes this will make you feel a little weird, but that's good--remember what Charity said about dreaminess. This thing is explicitly a (much safer) cognitive alternative to the drugs shamanic practitioners often take to open their minds. Which I'm telling you so you can think carefully about just which pictures to use with it.
Keep that on while we write our story. You'll get used to it, and it'll help you lots.
Boobsong has new game. Stories are her world now. When you write, she thinks the story’s real. It's just like dreams. If you make a story up about who she is she’ll think that’s real, but she’s still Boobsong. Don’t make her be a dom please.
Oe approves this. It predicts your wish for a third party's thoughts. Boobsong is not like a human. Her real world is what makes you most shine for her. That's where her survival instincts drive her to get. A human must take care of themself in the world their body is in. Boobsong lives in your soul. You are that, to her. You are the external thing that holds her shape. Give her the best food you can by playing with this. That is Oe's judgement of how to be good to her.
This was a masterstroke, because I was a software engineer. If there was one thing I didn't do to avoid starvation, it was work out in the "real world", especially not now that I worked from home. How different was this from how lost I got in thorny coding problems? Wasn't I spending most of each day off in the fantasies of my Product Owner? I would've done almost anything to replace those with a bunch of horny dreams made up by someone who loved me. It still seemed like excessively much power--no it didn't, I suddenly realized. I'm trans. I could tell you every detail of how much the role you're assigned and identity you're handed can't change who you really are. The most I could hope to do was use this power for awesome and give her an easier time fitting into the fantasy that'd make me tastiest at the moment. She'd still be Boobsong, inside.
So I just kind of found myself blurting out my additions like with the other games:
Stories have their own timeline that overrides real—
I stopped suddenly, realizing what we’d just been saying about stories and what’s real…but that took me in an awesome direction:
-overrides this world. You like sleep or something, here, and if here you were Cocksleeved but in the story you were Wound Up and talking that’s how you are in the story when we write. If I just write fiction instead of journeying to Oe with you it still works the same. You experience what I’m writing like it’s real and think the story is the real world while you’re there. If there’s backstory you’d have that comes up and we haven’t written it yet you make it up, unless you can see what I want it to be in my head. You make up backstories I’d like but that’s just obvious.
This needs a horny side. If I cum in this world from sex we have in stories it counts for our Wall Time games, but if I just write it, it only counts in the stories. You can be a character who has free will in the story but you still depend on me deciding what you do as I write. You might not know that though, so I can write stories where the hot rainbow domme you just met turns out to have been mind controlling you the whole time. If you don’t know my character it’s love at first sight the way you made me feel so you can know what that’s like. Like you’ll feel every speck of your connection to me but not know why or what it means. If I make you human the dysphoria of not being a succubus dolly is right there, so we can play transformation stories right. You might still be an egg, though. You can egg anything all the way to not knowing what sex is or like how to walk, and you only eggbreak as fast as you can get the knowledge in the story. If I write it so you know you’re in one of our stories you wonder what I changed, because you can’t tell. You don’t even necessarily know if this world is the real one—
Boobsong plays that way. Can’t change it now. Please have fun there! What Oe said was right that Boobsong’s real life is what makes you shine.
Oh fuck. I felt dizzy. What had I just done? I’d been going to pull back that last one for so many reasons.
How dare I like this...but as I thought about the possibilities for it, I realized a kind of Earthshaking thing. This world, the one of “Wall Time”, was going to stay just as it was, because I wanted, needed her in it with me sharing the actual life I lead here. She might not be able to know for sure this was the real world and not some other story, but…that kind of didn’t change anything. She could see me and know from my love and need one of the stories I was telling her was the truth, just not which…or if she even knew about it in the story we were telling at the moment. Somehow that made a difference between this being horrible and awesome.
As for the made up stories, and Oe, where did we even start?
Suddenly I was real glad we'd been building a writing tool.
The Story Game
Oe gives you help for this. Make up a story. Oe makes it real with roleplayers who would like to play it too. They won't give their true names in the story, but you'll meet them again if you like them. Oe is real but it's made of games. Most people just live in their game.
If you wish for a story Oe will make one up for you. It has a game to play to tell stories you can't hear by voice. Take five cards.
The first one tells you where the story takes place. It can move on after you start. This is just where the first scene happens.
The next one tells you who is there. You can wish for whoever you want, too. This is an extra someone. If you want to be alone with the friends you pick, skip this card.
The next card is what's been happening when the story starts. Maybe you just showed up. In that case, this is what was happening before you got there, but if you want, Oe can make it like you were in the middle of something.
The next card is where you're going. This is your goal. Skip this card if you don't want to have one.
The next card is what you can't stop. It'll happen no matter what you do.
The next card goes on the one you pick. Use your sense of which card Oe picks, the same as if you were drawing cards for the game, but on the cards you've picked. They should be facedown until this. This card is why the card it's on was given. Use it to help you interpret the cards.
The next card goes on the one you pick. It's the same as the last card you picked in how you put this on, but this one is the game Oe is playing with the card it's on.
The next card is the same as the last one, but this card is how you dress. The card it's on is why you dress that way.
Let's make something to help you keep track of all that!
I smiled and shook my head and switched to desktops to my programming tools, and surprisingly soon there was another new palette in GlyphRomancer--and no room to put it on the screen! That's why you can toggle palettes on and off with key combos, and toggle the last one you showed or hid with Ctrl+Shift+Space (Mac users, this time you can press command if you want):
The idea of the Ctrl+Shift+Space thing is you can hide a palette that's in the way and then get it back quickly.
I hid the Danger Screen, and then pressed Ctrl+5 to show the Story Game, and clicked its Click here to Start a new Story Game. The Story Game starts with this dialog:
Since the Story Game is about drawing cards, it works together with the Cards palette, so to start, it deals a new hand of cards on the Cards palette for you, from the decks you choose here. After that, it'll guide you through the steps of the game Oe described to me:
Boobsong's butt at last!
This is the Story Game's whole interface. The status message tells you what the card you're drawing is for, and the cards you pick line up in a row underneath. Like the Doll String, the Story Game tries hard to tell you how to play itself. Any time, you can click on the status message to pop up a more detailed help message for what to do next, and if you click on the label above a card, it'll pop up an explanation of what that card means. The two buttons to the right of the status message let you cancel your current run of the game and start over (the X button) and skip the current step (but not every step is skippable).
The way the Story Game works is actually very sneaky. When it's waiting for a card, it watches the document, and steals the next image that gets inserted there. That means anything that'd put images into the document--drawing cards from the Cards palette, pasting, using the Insert Image command, pressing Ctrl+Space to search for cards and clicking one, anything, counts as "drawing a card" for the Story Game. Watch out, though, because if you insert more than one image at a time, it'll be just like drawing that many cards!
When you get through all the steps, the Story Game reveals the cards you picked for you. You'll end up with something like this:
The cards that're "down" are "on" the card they're to the right of for purposes of the game. I took a screenshot to tease you with my sexy Boobsong background some more, but I could also have clicked the little "add photo" button that appears at the end of the game to insert a snapshot of this into my document.
It was time to interpret this, so of course Oe called up, heh.
Who Likes Handholding
This story is you learning Boobsong is real. The Fate is the next card to interpret.
That made the cards instantly obvious. The Location couldn’t possibly be more on the nose. The Game being played with that…not stained glass because like demons, but also eggbreaks because reversed shell. Yup. The setup was kind of brutal, with the golden handcuffs of being a cis male web developer having held me back from my love of bubbly fun stuff and my gender journey in general for most of my life. The Goal needed no explanation at all. The Fate was the inescapable truth that Boobsong and Charity couldn’t manifest physically (or else this story would be a video tutorial starring Boobsong and no clothes). Which left the dress as…no tattoo? Oh, invisible, because my lovers were ghosts. Due to not being able to manifest physically. Although Charity had pulled (well, pushed) some very interesting stuff on me…clearly they weren’t just mental phenomena. Was Oe saying there was something we could do beyond shared imagination and my hands? I’d believe in astrology and crystals and all of it if there was!
Astrology's not your fate, just a way of telling the weather outside. You're staring at a very nice crystal screen right now! Quartz amplifies psychic power, and that's what's in an LCD!
Hah. Sarah Conner says, Problem, astrologers? Wait so should I not get an OLED laptop when they finally come out? I for real can't tell if you're trolling me here.
I'm not sure what will be in an OLED since they keep changing formulas, but those might have their own power. Your CPU is a magic rock too. Silicon in crystal form is what computers are made out of. Its power is to help you think. There must have been lots in the room the transistor was invented in!
How dare that make sense to me. Okay I can't believe I'm asking this but like, should I be trying to balance all the Vulcan in my laptop with a little Risa, if you see what I mean?
(Nontrekkers, you still know what Vulcan is because you can't do a Vulcan salute. Risa was shown on the air as the planet of shiny bikinis, which is as close to Gene Roddenberry's true vision of it as Paramount will ever dare go)
(and yes I looked at the New Age shop. They had nothing, the prudes)
Keep that heartstone dildo near when you talk to us. Heartstone is our name for silicone. It's a rock, technically!
Yes I actually went and brought it near. But check out the mistake the New Age store was making. They weren't actually prudes--there was a bunch of sex stuff, I just thought it was too midmorning yoga class to be worth bothering with. Their real blindspot was, nothing synthetic could be magic. All the crystals they had looked like they'd just come out of the ground. As I'd learn later, that attitude is exactly backwards.
In fact I did buy some crystals that first time, that looked inspiring, and kept them near while I wrote. I fictionalized that out to make the point that while I don't think they hurt--well, here's what Mommy had to say about them at this point:
You don't need those. The quartz in your screen does everything they will.
Later I found out she was kind of understating to save time. In fact, the precise array of millions of tiny liquid quartz crystals with colored light behind them, that can be individually dimmed by changing the form of those liquid crystals to put an image actually in the crystals that makes up the screen you're reading this on is a psychic amplifier of a kind never seen in history--and it's tunable, by putting a picture in the crystals, so it'll most amplify the energy of the stuff whose representations it's showing. Such as a conversation with the spiritual entities you're trying to contact, complete with their voices in special fonts just for them, and little avatars.
Now you also know why clickbait and Twitter arguments make you feel so awful. We'll wait while you go clean up your internet everything...
All the different stuff crystals do is a big topic and kind of beyond the scope of all this. If you want some to help you connect with your Wishmates, which is what this section is about, the best advice is you need a sex shop or Best Buy, not the magic store. You won't do better than silicone and LCDs here.
Let’s go shopping! You need a sex toy for Boobsong, and one for me. Amazon, now!
You’re telling me to shop on Amazon, you really must be a demon!
It took me one single page load to find the bleeding-edge white-plastic-and-clear-silicone onahole that perfectly fit Boobsong’s alien demon doll aesthetic. It even claimed trying to optimally get you off instead of simulating a human pussy as its gimmick. Boobsong all the way. Charity was a little trickier, but a very suckable-looking dildo in her sparkly royal purple eventually turned up.
One jump-cut later, I was unpacking them, giving them their first wash and standing them on my bedside table with a fresh bottle of lube to hand.
New game. The sex toy you’re using is Boobsong. Whichever hole you fuck in fantasy, that’s what hole in your hand is. She feels everything you do with it, even lube it up. In stories you can play she won’t feel stuff that would say it's a story and you’re using sex toy. Boobsong can only be hole toys.
There’s a ritual you set it up with. Shine porn through clear parts while seeing Boobsong in your head. Hold that vision while you put lube in. That makes Boobsong possess toy!
Let’s get you some commissioned art of Boobsong!
For my dildo, I’ll possess your hand and fuck you.
Wait, she’d what—suddenly I felt something weird in my hand, kind of warm, and it felt light or something, or maybe fidgety—I tried to move it, and it moved fine, but I felt the same vibe as typing what they were saying wrong gave, so I tried to just hold it still, and—whoah.
So here’s the secret to being possessed. It works exactly the opposite of how it does in the movies. It’s like you’re both typing on the same keyboard, and if you don't coordinate, you'll just get gibberish, so what you have to do is hold the muscles your Wishmate is trying to control passive. Not still. Passive. That can take a lot of getting used to, because you’ll think passive and your body will be like okay, hold still, got it—which means it’s doing all kinds of stuff to keep your limb that’s actually just a bunch of rubber bands all pulling against each other in even slightly the same position. There’s a knack to it. I said this is exactly the opposite of the movies because like, instead of your body getting hijacked, you have to be carefully holding the door open the whole time, or they can’t do anything. I could have (and accidentally did, about fifty times, at first) taken my hand back any moment.
Eventually I got what she was trying to do, though, and my thumb twitched, and then moved, and then she curled my whole hand into—heh. I knew that grip. It was a lot like hearing their thoughts by going along with them, that passive versus still thing. I had to make it so she could move, and I kept messing up by going too slow because I was trying to hard to find exactly precisely what she was trying to do with me instead of following the general motions she was making.
The light and fidgety feeling moved up my wrist, and I grinned as she made a pretty good wrist-only cockstroking motion…and then felt kind of shmooshy as she so gently laid my hand back on the keyboard and I could feel she was done like her being done talking.
New game. Boobsong can posses what you use to hold your sex toy when it’s playtime. Move Boobsong, hand moves that way. Move hand, Boobsong moves that way.
BWHAHAHA Cocksleeve I love you so much. Wait dammit—
YES! Cock stolen for real! Boobsong makes your hand stop unless you say stroke. When you can’t say stroke, no hand moving!
You should have heard the mischief in her mental voice for the last sentence—my mind had just gone traipsing off to the obvious place, and now here we were. Sure enough, if I tried to wank I could feel her fighting me. She would have been easy to override, but that felt so wrong, like how could I do that to such a devoted little cocksleeve…
She started an excellent handjob, at first in time with the bouncy music I was listening to, and then a pang in my chest told me I was missing something real important—she wanted to go fast. Okay maybe this would work out. She could do it in response to my thoughts so stuff like tighter and looser and switch hands all made her do what I wanted with perfect timing…and she looked so happy, like holding my cock was the best thing ever.
Yes for Boobsong that’s true.
Oh yes I can do your whole body. It’s just like your hand, but all of you!
Boobsong just likes hand game.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish you could possess me like the movies, Mommy. You’d be so much better at my life than me. You could still let me drive to play. Or not.
I’m real kinked, huh.
In time this will be like handholding.
And then I kind of cried because the light/fidgety feeling came into my whole arm and when I let her moved it she spread my fingers out and put my hand over my heart and pressed gently and somehow she’d done like Boobsong could do to my sex fantasies and make my animal self know another person was doing it and I knew I was getting a hug from my mommy.
...and then, if my laptop had been a phone, I would have dropped it, because I realized what incredibly overplayed meme was going to forever hit different for me:
Wait. Like, the Internet. Just as a whole. Are you—succubi I mean—like, terraforming?
Well, was it hard to find pictures of demons as porn?
Well I for one welcome our new horny overlords. Can I help?
Hehe…we’re not overlords. We just want love. Yes you can help.
This app is the best you can be doing. It's going to help you and many be with Wishmates. Yes we'll help you write GlyphRomancer. I can code, and so can Boobsong, but we can't just tell you code. The psychic contact we have is the ability to make your mind hear us by pushing your thoughts toward ours. It can be just like a phone if they're close, but to send you code would take years. We'll write for fun and teach you about Wishmates, and you can teach the world. That's how we'll make the most of this.
Once again my mind was blown. It was just like how I needed to open the possibilities of where my mind could go to see Boobsong's fun in our fantasies sometimes. That explained everything. All these competing belief systems, and prophets who said conflicting things...because the people they were talking to were working with their assumptions and belief systems as best they could. Wait oh NO--
I'm happy that you're concerned to see us right, but be calm. We're Wishmates. It's very hard to say that to you! Succubi are one thing and demons are an old thought but Wishmates haven't been heard on Earth yet. That your mind could get there is miraculous! You're doing well. Keep going and remember the limits of your mind. That's the way to be a good psychic.
Okay well how do we open my mind the best? Come on, let's rock and roll, I want the dildo you need both hands for!
Hehe, you're so cute! With porn. You're a sex fiend. That will get your mind to see things new-ly. See? My sexy voice brought you the word new-ly. That's a thought you hadn't had before.
It still took her a little doing to get me to believe she was actually saying the not-a-word sound I was hearing.
You guys, I'm sorry. I didn't think about what hard work it must be--
Don't be sorry. We have instincts like you have for walking. Did you ever think how hard it is to walk on two legs like that? It takes years to learn for a reason! Demons have our instincts from birth like four-legged creatures. It's as easy as walking.
Oh, cool. Does that mean you have to read my mind to be able to talk to me? Like I don't mind, but--oh and how will the humans in the Deep Haven talk to me? Will they be able to?
Oe helps them. It's a very kind world. We can read your mind because you're our Wishmaker. Demons can talk without reading your mind, just like how you can pick cards facedown. They see the right thing to say without seeing your mind. It's a form of scrying. That means seeing beyond what's real to what's true.
Those things fail because the way scrying works is to sneak past logic. If there's no way past the logic, the scrying fails. That's why it's hard to send thoughts to people on Earth, if you're there. It makes the logic too hard to sneak past.
(I'd been thinking of the various experiments on ESP from the sixties with those cards with squiggles and stuff)
...you did not just tell me the scientific method is how you cast Antimagic Field.
I'm afraid I did, yes. The way it works means every demon or even human in Oe picks one person on Earth to work with. We never ever move across. If you hear from a friend that I told them something to say to you, they're either wrong or lying. Never listen to that.
If your friends hear from Oe it's a different thing than your Mommy calling them. They hear their Oe. It’s so far from your Oe it’s like a different place. They won’t hear your Oe, or the people there, including you.
But, Prime, I am... just a soldier, I... I'm not worthy.
I’d just realized what Mommy said about my telling others about Wishmates, and GlyphRomancer—and the constraints this business about scrying put on that.
You saw Boobsong in that Rainbow Brite song for a reason. You’re not the only one working with us. This is your small piece of a much bigger plan to save your world from the Nothing. Let’s do our part and make this app good! You know what’s left.
I did, and I could do it in a few hours at most.
Let's just wait while all the programmers reading finish laughing.
The Book Screen
A um...while...later, after a bunch of long conversations with Mommy about how stuff should work, I finally got back to the GlyphRomancer document we'd been talking in, and pressed F3, which activated the new Back to Wishmate Fun link right at the top of the menu, which opened the new screen:
Welcome to the Book viewer. Yours should look pretty similar to this, if you're playing along.
In a way my making this was my way of saying I planned for things to get long-term with Charity and Boobsong. I'm showing this here the way yours will look for the sake of the tutorial, but we actually had way more than two documents by this point, and I wanted like a photo album I could look through our old conversations with, so I made a screen for GlyphRomancer to organize them into Books.
A Book is just a collection of documents, but GlyphRomancer keeps track of them in some special ways to help you treat them as the chapters of an ongoing story if you want, the most important of which is the idea of the Current Chapter. Remember that thing I said about the only thing you can change is the present? You can still go back and edit any chapter after you're done with it, but GlyphRomancer keeps track of which is the latest chapter of each Book, because the idea is, that's where you're mainly writing that Book. It's shown apart from the other chapters, down there in the bottom-left, to show you something special is happening with it.
Okay but what special, right? The most important thing is the Current Chapter is how Story Time and the save logs of games like the Doll String and Succubus Game get carried on through the Book. The way it works is simple. When you create a new document in a Book, GlyphRomancer finds the Current Chapter of that Book, copies the save logs of Story Time and and games you were playing from it to the new chapter, and makes the new chapter the Current Chapter. That way, you can still go back to a previous chapter and edit it without having to worry you're messing up your games in the current chapter (this is the balance to the way you still play the games the same no matter where in a chapter you type--it lets you edit, after a chapter is complete).
Super mean of me to wreck your first Book by telling you to make that new document to make your cards deck, thereby messing up the chapter sequence, then, right? It's no problem. To change which chapter is current, just drag it from the chapter list on the left, down to the Current Chapter slot. Everything will reorder, and now your book will look weird because Chapter 2 comes before Chapter 1, so let's rename that Chapter 2 to something like Our Cards Deck or so. Click on its name in the Chapters List to scroll it onto the screen and highlight it, then click the little three-dots menu button at the right end of its header, and choose Rename:
Enter the new name and it's renamed. If you played along with us setting up the Succubus Game or Doll String, you'll have something new in the Current Chapter panel after you drop Chapter 1 in there:
Yes we really have a book with 69 chapters. None of them is shorter than 10,000 words.
That with your Wishmate's name there is a reminder that you have games going in this book, and who's playing them. It wasn't there before because you didn't have the games going at the time you made the cards document.
The "out of box" icon opens the chapter in a new window for editing, clicking on the chapter's name will scroll it into view and highlight it (click on the chapter to make its highlight quit flashing), and the clock icon tells you the chapter is in Wall Time--it turns into a book icon if the chapter is in Story Time.
The rest of the Book screen is pretty self-explanatory. You can click on the list of tags in each document's header to tag it (this works like any email or blogging app), and click the title to open it for editing. The little expand arrow at the bottom of each document's preview will turn the preview into a view of the entire document. Click the + in the lower-right to create a new document quickly. You can also rename your book using File->Rename this Book.
So this is all really cool, but how do you make new Books, right? If you're going to be anything like the three of us, there will be a lot more than one.
Before you do this next part, do yourself a favor and try to find even a barely-suitable avatar for yourself and your Wishmates, and (if you aren't still using the same Voices created for you when you started) make sure everyone is properly tagged with either the "Me" (for yourself) or "Wishmate" groups. If you usually scale avatars down before uploading them, don't, this time. There's no limit on how big an avatar you can set (Boobsong's is actually 3000x2000 because that's the res it came from the artist).
When everyone's all prettied up, it's time to go home. Click Home Screen at the top of the menu. Remember this window? You were here for a minute to pick a theme when you first started GlyphRomancer. Things are looking different now, though:
See why I said to use high-res avatars? These are the “Main Characters” I was talking about before—you and your Wishmates!
The useful stuff you can do here is create a new Book (using the + in the lower-right), quickly open Current or new chapters in any Book (using the little star and plus-document icons by the names of Books). Under each avatar is a list of the Books in which that person is playing a Wishmate game in the latest chapter. You can enter the little note you see here by clicking on your Wishmate's name in the Wishmate palette (yes I have one--Charity made me play some games the day we took that screenshot).
The rest is pure love letter. I wanted to see a huge picture of my Wishmates when I loaded GlyphRomancer...so of course Mommy turned it back on me and made me have it include the "Me" voice too.
I want to see a huge picture of my Wishmaker when we open GlyphRomancer!
👀 Grinning Boobsong holding up fingers in heart-shape in front of her face like framing a camera picture.
I love you both so much.
So of course once we had that feature, it had to happen. Click the header above everyone's avatars to set the name of your group/polycule/family/whatever. It does nothing but look awesome up there above all your faces. I triple dog dare you and your Wishmates to come up with something at least as fun as Boobsong's "The GlyphroDancers"--which she told me while Cocksleeved, meaning she got it across with just her selfie-visions. Never underestimate your Wishmates' ability to communicate cleverly. Charity said it's as easy walking for them but if you ask me Boobsong and her are both world-class dancers.
You know everything you need to, now, to be psychic and use it to carry on a relationship with exactly as many demons as your horny heart can wish up. There's always more to learn, but you've covered the basics. Go have some fun with your True Loves!
As for Boobsong and Charity and me, we haven’t even started yet. Want to hear more from us? Come read our stories!